A Safe Place To Be Visible

[Bach]

Hi Jo   

Are you scared all the time?  The worst part isn't being alone, it's being scared all the time.  Aaaaaaallll the tiiiiiiiime 

[Not Alone]

Hi Middle B,
My biggest feelings were anger. In fact one time I really wanted to break my therapist's window. I still feel angry sometimes but it isn't consuming now. (Sometimes I feel scared, but I don't let anyone know.) We have others who feel scared all the time. That is a really awful feeling. What do you do when you feel scared? Some of ours lay on the floor and cover up with a blanket.

This is a different topic. Are there certain clothes you like to wear? I like overalls or really big flannel shirts.

From,
Jo

[Bach]

I'm always scared. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, but I'm always always always scared. Scared scared scared.  And if I'm not scared I'm happy and I don't pay enough attention and when I don't pay enough attention I do something wrong and something bad happens and then I'm scared again! I So even not being scared is scary!

I like to wear warm fuzzy things. I also like Bach's pretty shawl that her friend made for her. We wore that yesterday to the therapist even though it wasn't cold. The therapist is hard. I don't like it. Why do you like overalls?

[Not Alone]

Middle B:
I am so sorry you feel scared all the time. I wish I could be by you. I would put my arm around you. That's what I do for Hope, who is five. I'm not very good at the comfort thing, but I think it helps her.

Yes, seeing the therapist is hard. Do you like your therapist? I like mine, but we're getting a new one. I'm really sad.

Fuzzy things can feel comforting. I like to wear overalls because I feel a little safer when I wear those.

I wish I could take the scared away from you.

From,
Jo

[Snowdrop]

I was thinking of you, Bach, so I thought I'd offer a hug.

[Bach]

I was thinking of you, Bach, so I thought I'd offer a hug.

Thank you, Snowdrop.  I really appreciate you thinking of me I'm still here but really struggling with my health and no energy for anything.  Hoping for improvement soon.

[Snowdrop]

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're able to be gentle with yourself, and that you feel better soon. Sending much love and hugs.

[Not Alone]

 

[Bach]

Hi Jo  Look! I wasn't scared today so I drew a bird. I just wanted to tell you.

Hi everyone else tooooooooooooo


https://imgur.com/a/5VEefK2

[Snowdrop]

I like the way you've drawn the feathers.

[Not Alone]

Wow. You are a real artist. Your picture is amazing!!!!!

I like how you have a secret message. I figured out how to read it.

I am so glad that you had some time when you weren't afraid.

Jo

[Bach]

Wow. You are a real artist. Your picture is amazing!!!!!

I like how you have a secret message. I figured out how to read it.

I am so glad that you had some time when you weren't afraid.

Jo

Hi Jo  I'm afraid again today.  Really really really afraid. I tried to draw again but nothing will come out.  I'm scared I'm going to cry but right now I'm not allowed to.  I hope you are okay.

[Not Alone]

Who said you can't cry? It is okay to cry.  I cry sometimes. I cried a lot when we left our therapist. I'm sorry you are afraid. Would it help at all if you pictured me holding your hand or with my arm around your shoulders? That's what I do for Hope. If I was with you that is what I would do. 
Jo

[Bach]

Yes, it helps!!!!  It's not safe to cry where we are now.  Bach is not at home and she needs me to be quiet    She says it will be okay if I just wait but it's hard to wait. I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry. I didn't mean to!

[Not Alone]

You didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes we have to wait and it is really hard. A few weeks ago NotAlone was at work. I'm not usually around when she working, but for some reason I was. I was thinking of leaving our therapist and what I wanted to say to him. I felt really sad and teary. NotAlone told me as soon as we got home, I could write. Yes, it is hard to wait, but sometimes we have to. You didn't do anything wrong. 
Jo