Less self-conscious

[Blueberry]

I noticed today while out and about wearing my sunglasses that they don't bother me anymore. I no longer feel terribly self-conscious when wearing them. For me, this is huuuuuge!

Emotional abuse: My FOO specialised in making fun of me especially about my appearance. It got to the stage where I didn't want to be seen at all because of feeling so vulnerable to nasty remarks about and unkind laughter at anything and everything to do with my appearance. This had a terrible effect on me for decades. Wearing sunglasses used to be really, really difficult. I knew people could see I was self-conscious. Some people took advantage of that to heap more criticism on me, others avoided me, still others would ask me why I was so 'nervous' and tense, why I didn't smile. None of that helped, all made the situation worse in fact.

Now I've just suddenly noticed I can wear my sunglasses without being self-conscious at all. 

[Libby183]

Absolutely brilliant,  Blueberry.  I understand everything you said about the self-consciousness which your foo instilled in you. So your reduced anxiety about your sunglasses is a real achievement.

I suffered exactly the same sort of thing from a mother who constantly said how awful it was to be so self-conscious.  I am fighting back by making my own clothes,  fitted to me, and I am not bothered any more.

Well done to you.

Libby

[woodsgnome]

That's fantastic, Blueberry 

I've also known that feeling forever and a day. Oddly, being self-conscious actually helped when I was an actor, but offstage I was a mess, and couldn't wait to get away from people (a trait still very present today).

It's always good to hear even the smallest successes. Except, can they ever be small given what we're trying to climb above? Thank you!

[sanmagic7]

 

that is so very cool.   well done, you.   love and hugs.

[Sceal]

Wow! AMAZING Blueberry!
That's some read progress right there! And I am so very happy for you!
Overcoming something like that is huge, it really is. 
I'm glad you're able to feel less self-concious about it, because it really, really, really suck so much and it affects so many areas of ones life.  I think we're similar there.

[Phoebes]

I can always relate so much to your posts, Blueberry! I know something like that is a BIG victory in healing. You know you're progressing and healing when you feel something like that. What I imagine is so simple to some people, it is something we have to re-learn a new visceral feeling from what we were taught.. I'm so happy for you you felt that growth today, and you can be more FREE!

[Kalmer]

That's awesome Blueberry. Congratulations!

Do you know how this positive shift came about?

[Blueberry]

Thank you everybody!

Sorry, Kalmer, no I can't really say. It will be a complex mix of this and that and some just 'delayed trauma healing'. Some of those instances of Screen Processing I do - it takes weeks and months for what we were working on to change. Things seem to evolve slowly.