(Crying)

[milk]

Because I am sad.

I am grieving a loss of humanity I see - and in my own family: knowing my M (an emotional abuser) may not have long to live (its premature and a result of knowing too much violence), seeing people hurt one another in the street (loss of integrity), listening to the suffering of people I know and love.

These feelings are just below the surface - it changes my pace when I am in  “doing mode“  (the act of daily living - I saw this in a post and borrowed it) — I have to find a bathroom or pull to the side of the road to cry.

After a good cry I feel better. many times something strange happens  (like a flock of 20 flying parrots swooping down to perch on a wire above me, a freak lightening storm in the desert town I live in, or a strangers gaze tells me he understands without knowing the details)  and I feel calm or laugh like in the bird scenario, this returns me to who i am  (I let go of the story behind the tears so I can free up what is possible, another way to look at a situation ) — I step back into life, the pace of being there, showing up. I may not be 100% but I am willing.

I am sharing this because it is part of where I am in recovery. Not a setback but a growth spurt.

Hugs are welcome. I dont need advice.

[LilyITV]

    Seems like those are healing tears since you felt better afterward. 

[Three Roses]

 

[milk]

They are healing tears  Thank you LilyITV and Three Roses.