Letter to my inner child

[annakoen]

I wanted to write a letter to my father, yelling: you *, you made me terrified of cancer!

But I realize what I need, what my inner child needs is reassurance. So here goes.

Dear little Anna,
I know how much the cancer disease scares you. Your father dumped inappropriate information about adults dying of that disease on you. And you couldn't cope. You were too young to be able to handle that information. I know how it terrified you. How you lay awake at night, terrified at the thought of having cancer.

Please know this:
- The odds of not having cancer are greater than the odds of having it.
- We will have to figure out, together, what bodily changes are normal as we age.
- I'll speak up for the both of us when we are worried

I can't ask you to have faith. You weren't given any when you were young. All I can tell you is that we will live life the best we can, and care for our body the best we can.

Look at the family tree. Mom has never been sick. Her parents are in their eighties. Dads side of the family is different, but look dad's drowning his body in alcohol and he's in his sixties. Grandpa was 71, but he was overweight. He could have gone on to in his eighties, nineties maybe.

I know what you're thinking: dad's mom died when she was 42, of liver cancer. I can't take that fact away. But here's what I can say: Healthcare is better now. And your odds of cancer aren't any higher than that of anyone else.

I don't know what else to say. I'd like to ask you to not be so afraid. But that's not fair, you've had to hide your fear your entire childhood.

So maybe it's time to learn how to be afraid. Just like a lot of other people. Being scared isn't fun. It's awful. But if you tell me what you're scared about, I'll do my best to listen, take appropriate action, and comfort you.

I hope it's enough.