Self-Compassion

[Kizzie]

The Centre for Mindful Self-Compassion was founded in 2012 by Dr's Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer who describe self-compassion as "responding in the same supportive and understanding way you would with a good friend when you have a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don't like about yourself." 

Among many other useful resources, the site offers a free online Self-Compassion Test. They also provide a lengthy list of other SC resources and web sites here.

[LilyITV]

This was a really good self-test.  As I expected I am not very self compassionate with a 1.8.  I thought the subcategories were illuminating and right on point.  I got a 5 on isolating and a 4.25 on over-identification.  I had to google to see what over-identification is, and yes, I do a lot of over-identifying with my feelings, lol.   

[Elphanigh]

That is a really intriguing test. Thank you for Sharing Kizzie! I got a 2.78 overall, but self compassion has been something I have spent a lot of time trying to cultivate in the last year. I feel like I have made progress and that number would have been much lower even 6 months ago. The sub categories are really helpful guides I think, kind of shows me the way I think and where improvements could be made the most. 

[Blueberry]

I did the test yesterday too. I got a 4 on isolating which rather suprised me since I thought I'd improved. Like Lily, I had to look up over-identification, where I had 3.something. It's good to know that it's even a concept, something to work on improving.

[Sceal]

My scores weren't great, but I knew they would be bad before I took the test.

Although I do think this is a very important skill to start learning, especially for us with cptsd and other mental health issues. It could become a positive armour to wear when the rough times come around.

I've just finished two books on the topic, and I found them very helpful. When I remember to do the exersises or to talk to myself in a self-compassionate manner I do notice that I do better overall with my mental health. It's just, it's not a habit yet. So it keeps slipping.

Maybe I need to add a reminder on my phone, to stop and ask myself how I'm doing, and how am I talking to myself today?

[Kizzie]

Hey Sceal, I didn't edit your post at all, I just hit "Modify" your post by mistake when I meant to hit it on mine.)

Maybe I need to add a reminder on my phone, to stop and ask myself how I'm doing, and how am I talking to myself today?

That's a great idea Sceal     and       I think it would go a long way to helping SC become a habit.  I looked around and found "Shine." It seems like a good one to try out and best of all it's free. I was going to give it a whirl myself but the texts are currently only available in the US (although you can get texts elsewhere via Facebook Messenger).  Anyway, if you or anyone else in the US wants to give it a try here's the link -  https://www.shinetext.com/

Shine is a free self-care app that feels like a daily pep talk in your pocket. Whether you're stressed, overwhelmed, anxious—Shine will remind you "I got this."

Set a self-care goal and get personalized 7-day audio challenges and self-improvement audio tracks to help you grow on the go.

Join over 3 million people who start every Monday-Friday morning with a Shine Text—a motivational message with research-backed advice and affirmations that work for your world.

Make Shine a part of your daily routine. Increased use of Shine is associated with lower rates of anxiety and depression. When surveyed, 96% of users said that Shine helps them feel more confident.

[Sceal]

It only took me until today to actually set the reminder on my phone

Have you been using the shine app? I haven't tried it yet, as with most self help apps I tend to forget they exist on my phone and end up never using them.

[Kizzie]

I haven't used it Sceal b/c I'm not in the US and don't use FB Mgr (and don't want it).  What I liked about Shine  is that it sends texts to you daily versus having to remember to go in and use the app which like you I'm not good at doing. Was the reminder to download Shine or get it set up and sending you daily texts? 

[Boatsetsailrose]

I adore self compassion kizzie it is one of my best tools...
When all else fails...

[Kizzie]

Couldn't agree more Boats     

Interestingly I have been struggling with a particularly noisy Inner & Outer Critic lately I think b/c I will be seeing my NPDM at the end of the month and it was coming up to Mother's Day which brings the trauma to the surface.  I could not get my IC/OC to pipe down for the last two weeks and self-compassion was drowned out basically, but this morning now that Mother's Day is over I feel some relief and my Inner & Outer Critic aren't as loud.

We go in two weeks so I imagine it will get louder the closer we get to going but I will be as self-compassionate as I can in the meantime. In a twisted way I think the IC/OC are loud right now as a way of prepare me for the inevitable N behaviour & remembering/feeling the trauma      I am happy to recognize what's going on at least and to understand I need to support and care for myself. 

[Boatsetsailrose]

Yes keeping up the practice when the ic/oc is loud is key isn't it... Easier said than done... Doing self. Compassionate things can help.. And of course sharing here so valuable.... Sending u best wishes for this time

[Kizzie]

 

[irishrebel]

i found this book very helpful on the topic of self compassion

It Wasn't Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion by Beverly Engel

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00PTIF3Q4/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

[PaperDoll]

Thank you for these resources and insights. I scored 1.36 on the test so self-compassion is definitely something I will work on. I found this link to guided practices on Dr Kristin Neff's website: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/

[Desert Flower]

Hello everyone,
Thank you Kizzie for starting this post. I love Kristin Neff, been doing her meditations for some time, on and off, and I find them very helpful and supportive. Just allowing yourself to feel whatever your feeling and that's normal and okay, there's nothing wrong with us.