Trouble with crying?

[LittleBirdy]

I don't cry easily, and I get really uncomfortable when other people cry, I just don't know what to do. I try to be comforting but in my mind I hope they'll stop because I feel that uncomfortable by it.  Also I hate it when people see me cry, I feel uncomfortable and I have shooed people away because I can't calm myself down unless I'm alone. I don't even know what's normal, I wish I could just let it all out like other people can you know?

[Wattlebird]

I totally relate, I really don't understand how people can be so open with there emotions either.

[Deep Blue]

I can't cry. I feel sad but the tears just don't come.  I think it goes back to my abuse.  I wasn't suposed to show emotion then, and I struggle with it now.

[LylaMoshi]

I feel you, @LittleBirdy. Hope you're okay.

I've struggled as long as I can remember to feel my emotions, whether it's sadness or anger. I also have trouble naming what's causing me to feel bad, which sucks >.>

[woodsgnome]

I learned early that showing any emotion was extremely dangerous, as it could provoke surprisingly harsh, critical, and even punitive reactions from those who'd call me weak, phony, or worse for allowing my feelings to show, especially tears ("I'll give you something to cry about", etc."). But even laughter, smiles, or other happy emotions could bring harsh and unfair rebukes as well ("wipe that smirk off...").

So I learned to hold it in, and felt utterly miserable, disapproved. and scared to ever show any feelings at all. Finally, a few years ago, I was in a group workshop setting and something set off a gusher of tears that I didn't think would ever stop. But I was in a completely safe setting, and that helped. As did the crying itself -- it was so good to get so much out that evening.

Which is not to say that it switched my emotional reactions around. There's still an uneasiness that usually prevents me from fully showing what's inside. Again, unless I'm feeling totally safe, and that's extremely rare in most settings.

My final observation is to agree that yes, it can be a good thing to get it out, so to speak, but it's never easy; however I'm so relieved to have at least had those couple moments someplace where I was safe enough to let my rigid self-control loose. Just that once (although it did happen again in therapy -- again within a safe enough place). Having experienced some release, though, has carried over to private times at home, a different sort of animal but also capable of taming the dragon a wee bit. And again, it happens only within the safe space of home.

Best wishes   

[DontPanic]

i also have trouble when ithers cry - i become both numb and agitated when others suffer and/or cry.
I suppose it's some IC that is overwhelmed by its own sorrow, and i have to keep it in check all the time so i don't hurt so much.
It's only when i  am more stable that i can really comfort someone, then i can feel their pain and stay present without being in pain myself.

I seldom cry myself, but i often feel as if i were crying inside, and it just doesn't show on the outside.