It's time for me try medication.

[thetruth]

Hi Rose,

Thanks for your response. The high pitched ringing is constant. It isnt really a big problem.

I am on these tablets as I need 2 things to change. I need a reduction in painful rumination and I need a lifting of mood. I am hoping for both to occur together. If the rumination can be made less powerful, then the depressive effect of it and the headache it creates should ease.

I am daring to think that I am experiencing a positive shift, especially at night when watching movies. I feel somewhat liberated and distracted from the thinking. The rumination returns in the cold light of day, because my past is real. It happened and it was unjust. If there were a line I could cut to severe me from the truth of my history I would gladly cut it. But there isnt. It doesnt work like that.

Ill keep trying to focus on the positives in the here and now. I am comfortable in new accommodation, I dont have immediate money worries. I just have psychological injury and there is no mistake about that. None.

Thanks for your response and I will stick with the citalopram. Hopefully they make 2019 an easier year than 2018. That would be really good.

[thetruth]

I have been on 10mg of Citalopram for 4 weeks. For the past 2 weeks there has been a massive reduction in the negative rumination that has plagued my life for 5 years. The inability to escape the painful rumination caused by workplace harassment and the refusal of a doctor to accurately describe the stress it caused, was making my life not worth living. The fact that the rumination was not reducing due to the passage of time was becoming more worrying and downright depressing. It was the depression that prompted me to try an antidepressant.

I have been able to think about things other than those unfair events from the past thanks to going on this medication. I still find myself automatically thinking about it on a very regular basis, probably hundreds of times daily, but it doesnt have the same power to make me feel as bad as it previously did.

I hope this lasts as it is a very welcome shift. The rumination and the depression have been addressed for now. It is great relief. I just wanted to report this positive outcome from taking Citalopram 10mg. My brain is getting  a very badly needed break from a stress problem that was doing very serious damage. It was destroying me.

[Three Roses]

The rumination and the depression have been addressed for now. It is great relief.

[Libby183]

So pleased that you are feeling some improvement with the citalopram. It seems like a really good sign.

Take care.

Libby.

[thetruth]

Thanks Three Roses and Libby,

The relief is unexpected and very badly needed. Its almost surreal. I have only known feeling awful for years. I now have some type of peace of mind.