Shifting focus

[Snookiebookie]

Hi

Does anyone have trouble shifting focus?  I've been home from work for 6 hours but my thoughts keep slipping back there.   It's like I'm still working.

I do have problems with rumination too. And I often relive abandonment.  I even talk to myself about what traumatised me.

I do mindfulness. I do yoga.  But I still find it difficult to shift my focus.

Any tips?

[woodsgnome]

I'm afraid I too share in what you're saying about how things, even minor ones, can take over and last for hours, leading to ruminations and frets that go on and on. I can tire myself out (but usually can't sleep) when this happens. Or, sometimes what happens is a big cloud of dissociation settles over me instead. Either way can dissipate my energy/motivation to change.

So...slowly, I'm unlearning the life patterns that have kept me so unfocused. I guess it's called recovery; but whatever the name it's what I know needs doing. Trouble is it's so easy to slip back into the old grooves yet again.

Like you, I also practice 'going within' techniques, but I prefer to call what I aim for heartfulness, where I attune more to my heart and not mind to create a space of relaxation and perhaps help me get past the blockages. But once I do access the inner me, it opens up the unlearning part that's always existed, and I see my own strengths again, unfiltered by the lifetime of hurt. Nothing's a panacea, though; I guess it's part of the human makeup that way. In the end, all there to do is to keep at it.

I know I've used this analogy before, but people come and go on this site all the time, so I'll risk repeating something that's helped. I picture my life as a double feature movie house -- one showing the old show  of 'my life' and the other with a new feature I'm controlling. If I remember to do that, when I can recognize slipping into the old story, I can picture the new blank screen and go to it, again paying more attention to my heart as I envision the new story. Eventually both screens are blank again, and all is open, just like behind these words there's that giant white space, awaiting someone else's words.

[saturnine]

I struggle with this too. Lately something that's been helping is when I notice myself slipping into a rumination, I just start listing off the things I see in front of me. Often my troubles come to me in the shower, so I'll think, "Shower tiles. Shampoo. Conditioner. Shower rod." Or I'll list off all the colors or animals I can think of. Or I'll sing a song from start to end. They're all just ways to stay in the moment while blocking the runway for ruminating. Usually by the end of the singing, labelling what I see, or list making, I feel more present and I don't slip back into the ruminations as much.

I also practice meditation, but that can be really difficult in the moment of rumination. I like to think of it as an exercise regimen that helps you learn to identify when your mind is wandering in the first place. I'm able to catch my thought spirals quicker now thanks to meditation.

[Kizzie]

Hey Snookie - I've used some techniques suggested by Pete Walker and found them quite helpful.  They're for Inner and Outer Critic but they work for being stuck in ruminating. See http://pete-walker.com/pdf/ShrinkingOuterCritic.pdf and http://pete-walker.com/shrinkingInnerCritic.htm.

Hope this is helpful 

[johnram]

Following as i relate, and want to hear the advice offered

i wish you all well