CPTSD and Anger

[Ayisha]

Hi everyone
I have extreme anger outbursts. Do you know effective ways to remedy this crucifying symptom.
Many thanks
Ishy

[Rainagain]

I have tried to recognise that my anger is extreme, it is more than is really appropriate.

This has allowed me to keep my temper for longer, though its not perfect.

Its about increasing 'band width', the range of interactions with others you are able to manage, moving your band width nearer that of the majority creates less shame at having outbursts.

Controlling it depends on how much warning you get that an outburst is on the way, once its happening its not controllable.

Maybe you could think about what your warning signs are so you have advance notice of an outburst.

For me it has meant telling myself that my anger isn't wholly based on current reality, it has extra oomph from past things.

Another  brake on anger for me is the fear that I will really hurt someone if I lose control, that thought helps me keep a lid on it. I mean physically cause harm, but the thought of causing emotional harm might be enough as well

But its a bit risky as I question if a lot of my feelings are appropriate and that uncertainty and doubt has led me to isolation

[Three Roses]

Hi Ayisha, I used to think it was my anger, but for me I think when I feel angry I'm actually in an emotional flashback.

I heard someone say once that there are only two things to do when you feel angry - react or respond. A reaction is immediate, like the phrase "knee-jerk reaction". A response is after considering your exact circumstances and what you want the outcome to look like for you. And the longer the period of time between when you first feel angry and your next action, the better your chances of responding instead of reacting. This realization has helped me a lot!

Hope this was helpful. Here's more info on EFs - http://pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm

[Rainagain]

Utube clip

Jordan Peterson - advice on regulating emotion

[Blueberry]

Hello Ayisha,

As you see I've moved your thread over to the Affective Dysregulation board, where you'll find other posts on anger. Reading some of them may help you too. Though I agree with ThreeRoses that it may well be an EF in your case too.

Blueberry

[sigiriuk]

The anger thing has got better for me gradually.
The way it happened, was educating myself about emotions, and how they work.
As a traumatised person,
-I did not know I had some emotions
-I couldnt recognise other feelings, and denied having certain emotions
-i had positive and negative urgency
- emotions affect how i act
- there are no bad emotions, or good ones.
- some make me uncomfortable, and these ones are also part of positive life experiences
- anger is often a child's way of expressing pain, sadness, hunger, loneliness - thats the big one.

There's lots more but I hope my understanding of anger has helped you.

[Ayisha]

Thank you ever so kindly for the responses. Yes they were more than helpful.
Ishy