New to boards--having triggered flashbacks:Scared!

[MrsManic]

I'm so glad I found this site. I'm scared because I'm a student teacher and my guiding teacher was verbally abusive and actually man handled a few of the 2nd graders! I managed to make it thru the day but the next day I went into a full blown meltdown because they were the ages of some of my cruelest abuse. I dropped out of student teaching because I'm still a wreck. I confronted my mom about my dads abuse of me sine I was 1. I realized like a thunderbolt how horribly wrong that was. Then his constant shaming and terrorizing me til I was 14 left my spirit broken. I turned to drugs. What's worse was that my mom turned a blind eye to his abuse which left me feeling utterly abandoned and lost and depressed. The drugs helped for years til I quit. Then I started drinking...less so now. My flashbacks to feeling small and abandoned overwhelm me. I need EMDR. Anyone try that?  I have a therapist and a shrink. TY for reading!

[Dutch Uncle]

Hi MrsManic 

Welcome to Out of the Storm. Brrr, flashbacks... They do send us into dark territory, don't they. I can relate.

At OOTS, we welcome people who are dealing with cPTSD through a variety of life's events that befell us.
In the cPTSD Glossary you may find a lot that may resonate with your experiences. A few highlights to start your journey with:
On cPTSD
On Boundaries

I need EMDR. Anyone try that?  I have a therapist and a shrink.

Personally I haven't, but there are some threads on EMDR, and experiences with it.
Here are a few:
http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=162.msg1097#msg1097
An update on that one: http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=632.msg4615#msg4615
Here's another one, that also has some links to literature/research on EMDR and "EMDR & cPTSD" : http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=174.msg1227#msg1227
If you type in EMDR in the search function on this site, you'll find many more posts.

Last but not least I want to point out our Guidelines for All Members and Guests to you.


Dutch Uncle.