Talking to others with childlike humor

[Patticake]

Hello all. I was diagnosed with Cptsd in 2012, although I've had it since the late 70's. Back then I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder & Depression. This forum is wonderful & you are all helping me so much. Thank you. This is my second post and I am somewhat embarrassed to share this info, but feel many of you may understand. I find that when I go out in public, doesn't really matter where, I find myself starting conversations with fellow shoppers, check out clerks, hair stylists, etc, btw, these are complete strangers,  where I say what I think are funny remarks & proceed like I am a comedian. I find myself overtalking. Most people respond okay, but I feel like a fool after I do this because my humor is sophomoric & juvenile. I am 64 years old, but I oftentimes behave like a young teenager. I can't seem to control myself.

I feel compelled to behave like this. I have not matured properly. I get nervous around people and just start talking. I don't know how to just talk normally. I was my FOO's jokster. I think it was the only way I could get any attention in my depressing home.

Does anyone else have this problem? I am aware that I do this so I don't do it as much as I used to. I catch myself & try to stay quiet, but it is difficult. I can only go out sporadically when I am having a fairly good day. This overtalking is ridiculous & embarrassing. Any help would be very appreciated. Thank you for listening & being there.

[Hope67]

Hi Patticake,
Welcome to the forum.  I'm glad you felt brave enough to share this information, and I know how tentative I was when I first posted here - it took me a long time to pluck up courage to do so.  I relate to what you've said here - although I do experience anxiety in social situations, I can find that when I do speak to people - it will depend on which part of myself is present - in terms of what I might say or how I might relate to them.  I often feel like a much younger person inside, and I have also served the function in my family of 'being what they required me to be' - if that makes sense - so I've entertained them, fawned to them, and been a bit like a chameleon sometimes. 

I'm glad that people respond ok to you - when you talk to them, because I suspect they might appreciate your openness, but at the same time, I know it can feel awkward to not feel in control of how you are.

I think I restrict myself sometimes, as I fear how I might be - but in honesty - I am finding that when I'm allowing myself to be more open and authentic, that people seem to appreciate it. 

Patticake, I don't know if my ramblings are helpful at all here - but I wanted you to know that I relate to what you're saying, and I'm glad you're here in the forum.

Hope 

[Three Roses]

Oh my goodness, this is so me! I'm 62 and trying so hard to tone it down some and not feel I have to perform, or be funny, in order to fit in. I'm working on finding out who I truly am under the mask I wear, and communicating from that place instead of putting on my clown hat. Thanks for your post.

[Libby183]

I am just the same, Patticake!

Since deciding to divorce me, my husband has said that he found me embarrassing because of this. I was very upset, but when I talked about it to the people who have been supporting me, both professionals and friends, they have said that they don't see this as something to be ashamed of. It has been quite a revelation.

I think my recent traumas have led me to calm down a little, much like you talk about. So my feeling is that you are finding a happy medium, and that most people will respond very positively to you.

Lovely to meet you here for the first time.

Libby