Do I belong here?

[Kittylover]

I've been looking at this forum for a while but afraid to join-because I haven't been diagnosed with cptsd...however the symptoms match me very well....I was emotionally abused throughout my childhood by many different adults though I m having trouble believing it was really bad enough ....I struggle with self harm. I always feel like I'm bad. I have trouble trusting or having normal relationships with people (though some of that is my autism) .I'm very anxious at random times. For a long time I thought I didn't have ptsd because I don't have flashbacks . When I read on this site about emotional flashbacks I do have those sometimes. Obviously you guys can't diagnose me but that's what's going on.....

[C.]

Welcome Kittylover.  I am so sorry that you were emotionally abused as a child.  Children are helpless and depend upon adults to help them develop a sense of self-worth.  It wasn't fair or right that happened to you.  It is a big deal too.  Emotional harms can hurt as much or more than physical harm.  Self-doubt is such a challenge...no matter what you or I or anyone says you may question your "right" to have been harmed, to experience pain now, etc.  But with your description of current symptoms and your experience it sounds like this forum is a "fit" for you...we are all unique so the descriptions of symptoms and life experiences vary.  And sometimes the symptom of insecurity makes it difficult to even assess ourselves fairly.  No need for an official "diagnosis" here.  I am glad that you decided to post.  I hope that you continue to find support and healing here and throughout your life.  Again, welcome.  Yes, you belong.

[schrödinger's cat]

   Welcome, Kittylover. Pleased to meet you. I was "simply just" emotionally abused, too, so I know this kind of feeling. It's only made worse because (very obviously) those who emotionally abused us tried their very best to make it seem like everything was fine, nothing to see here, move right along. And other people never saw the full picture. One single itty-bitty instance here and there isn't so bad. It's the sum that's greater than its parts. At least that's what I'm coming to suspect nowadays.

So, if you feel like sticking around, we'd love to have you.

Ah! and before I forget: there's a website by a therapist who has CPTSD and has also specialized in CPTSD. There are several free articles, and some of them are on emotional flashbacks. So here's the link: http://www.pete-walker.com .

[Liliuokalani]

I think a lot of us don't think what we went through was "bad enough." Until I talked it through with a therapist I didn't even dare say I was abused, because a lot of it was covert and subtle. But I think it matters how you feel. I couldn't figure out that I was having emotional flashbacks until I read about them on this site. It's pretty empowering to put a label on the hurt that you have felt, wondering if other people have felt that way too. This is a place to heal, not judge. Welcome. I'm new too. I hope we both find peace here. I am also a kitty lover. Mine is curled on my lap as I type. Kitties are great for the healing process. She's my best buddy.

[Anamiame]

Kittylover:

If you are reading and it 'fits' for you, then you belong here!  No need for anyone else to validate what you know to be true.  Whether dxed or not doesn't matter--if it's there, it's there.  What's most important is that you are benefiting AND we get to benefit from you!

So...Welcome my friend!

[Kizzie]

Hi Kitty     Everyone is quite right, you are most welcome here if you feel the symptoms fit you - no formal diagnosis needed!