A Mirror's Gaze

[RiverRabbit]

I have said this before…

But not fully.

A mirror’s gaze is a difficult thing to hold.

The pain that stares back.

The emptiness that pulls at my very being.  I have to look away… or I may become it.

A mirror’s gaze is a difficult thing to hold.

The accusing critic, who sees all that I wish to hide.

”You are too weak… you do not have it in you… you will fail… you will be exposed… and they will all know”, the blistering tirade intensifies, until I look away.

A mirror’s gaze is a difficult thing to hold.

All that I have seen… all that I have done… I want to shatter this image in front of me.

I want to become something else… I want to become nothing.

I want to see nothing staring back at me.

A mirror’s gaze is a difficult thing to hold.

We are forced into a life… a life where decisions are made… actions are taken… before we have full reasoning to choose.

These are the things that haunt us.

These are the things that we are chained to.

A mirror’s gaze is a difficult thing to hold.

Looking into her eyes… seeing some shadow of what she might see as she stares back into mine… does she see me lingering in these depths?

Does she see… does she see my horror?

This thought eats at my core… and find it hard to hold her gaze...

A mirror’s gaze is a difficult thing to hold.

Yet I hold her… this mirror in my arms… and it terrifies me.

But the stranger in the mirror tells me to keep her close.  We will become better for it.

[Snowdrop]

I felt this in my heart.

[RiverRabbit]

I felt this in my heart.

Thank you Snowdrop.  I was trying something different... inspired by Bukowski.  Was not sure it it was working to convey the atmosphere and emotion.

I'm glad you got something out of it.

Glad I worked up the courage to post it... these poems have proven to be great tools for rooting out some of the things that creep in... those faceless moods for which you can never pin down the sources.

Also, the connection I feel when these poems resonate with all of you who read and respond gives me something I can't quite describe... but is healing.