... And Yet, She Stays

[RiverRabbit]

She could leave, and I would not blame her... I would not stop her.

I am sure I have given her enough reasons.  I'm sure I am reason enough.

And I fear to my very core that, one day, she will.

... and yet she stays...

I fight through a forest of self loathing to try to see some good in me... but I can only see what she shows me... and even then, I swim in doubt, thinking it is some wool I have pulled over her eyes... some mask she is seeing.

"Rejected by the mother... how can I be accepted by any other?", an inner whisper, as loud as thunder, lands home.

... and yet, she stays...

There is some light in her that allows her to peer into my darkness...

I forget, sometimes, that she sees me struggling... I forget she is not repulsed by me when I become angry... afraid...  primitive... only to reign it back in, and bath in shame... unable to look her in the eye.

I forget that she hurts, too, as she watches me fight this secret war.

... and she stays.

[Snowdrop]

Reading this with tears in my eyes. I can relate to it so much. Thank you for posting it.

[Kizzie]

This speaks to me about the fact that we are not our trauma, and that we, our core selves, are reason to stay.  We often see the negatives, but we also have positives that others see and feel such as being deeply compassionate, caring people despite what we have been through.