Told Secret *TW vague reference to csa

Started by Not Alone, September 30, 2019, 07:40:58 PM

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Not Alone

I'm not sure why I feel like I need to write this on OOTS, but I keep thinking it, so I'm going to follow through.

To Hope (five-year-old part of me/not to be confused with Hope who is a integral member of OOTS):

You told two people. You told Therapist and you (through me) told Friend. You told how what they did affected your body for your whole life. Therapist and Friend knew what those men did and they were not surprised by what you told them. They said it made sense. You are NOT ALONE with that secret any more. NOT ALONE. Two people who care about you know. They do not think you are bad or dirty. They feel ???? sad ??? did they say? I don't remember. Therapist said that secrets make embarrassment and humiliation bigger and that people knowing make those smaller. Now two people know. They care. They understand. They heard your hurt and fear and humiliation you have carried alone for so long. I know you still hurt and I don't know if anything makes that go away. ALL THAT stuff:  the abuse and effects really happened; can' t erase it. But the part you shared today, two people know and you are not alone.

MoonBeam

NotAlone, big  :hug:

Hope is so brave. Your T is wise and what he says is true. By sharing your secret you are protecting you and not those men anymore and you are not alone in it. Not anymore.

You are lovable and brave and a beautiful being who deserves love, safety and care.

MB

Kizzie

You were so brave to tell Hope, I know Notalone is proud of you and so am I  :bighug:

Blueberry


Snowdrop


Not Alone

Hi everybody (written by NotAlone for Hope because she is too little to write),

Thank you for talking to me. It made me laugh when you said I was brave, because that seemed silly. But maybe I was brave. It's a secret I've had for a long time. I didn't want to say the words to Therapist. NotAlone tried to find it in a book so I could just show him and not say it, but she couldn't find it. I asked Therapist to guess. He didn't like that idea. It took a long time, but I told him. Was that brave?

Thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone. Being alone with secrets is bad--not naughty bad, but hard. I hate being alone. I like all your care and hugs! I hug you back.  :grouphug:

From,
Hope (5 years old)

p.s. My heart is pounding. It is scary to write on here. The only one I have ever talked to directly is Therapist. Only one other person, maybe two, know about me.

Hope67

Hi Hope,
I think you were brave too, very brave.  You told your Therapist, and I think that was so brave.  I agree with you, that being alone with secrets is hard, and I want you to know that all the care and hugs shown to you here, I think they are safe and caring, and that you're not alone anymore.  I am an adult, and I don't have much experience of talking to children, and I know you are 5 years old, but I also am called Hope, and I love the fact we have the same name, I think that's cool.  I'd like to send you a safe and gentle hug, if that's ok.
I think you are brave.  If I've used any longer words that you don't understand, then ask Notalone to read them and help you understand them.  What I want to say to you is:
You are not alone anymore.  I think you are safe now.  Your therapist sounds nice too.  I hope you can talk to him more about things.
:hug:
Hope  :)

Not Alone

To Hope From Hope
I think you are good at talking to kids. What you wrote made me cry, the good kind of feeling cared about tears. Does that make sense? I had a bad night, so what you wrote helped me. Thank you.
Love,
Hope

Snowdrop

Dear Hope, it was very brave of you to say the words. I'm so glad you were able to trust the therapist. It sounds as though he understands and cares about you. You're not alone any more. People care about you.

Here is a safe hug if that feels OK. :hug:

Kizzie

Hey little Hope, you did a great job of telling the therapist and now us. My hope for you is you don't feel as alone and scared any more, and things will keep getting better so you can play and sing and dance in the sunshine.   :grouphug:

Not Alone