TW: survived decades of sexual abuse (Ritual Abuse)

[RA-Survivor]

I was raped and molested daily by my abusers, the entirety of my life. I am currently 24 years old. It took me much courage to speak out about what I have been through, ever since the first revived traumatic memories came back on March 2016, but only spoke about the main highlights of my satanic ritual experiences 4 years later, on February 2020. I couldn't come to terms of my trauma history, as to how illogical it has appeared.

I do not remember all traumatic memories, due to dissociation has helped me to cope with the overwhelm, so that I would be able to maintain my sanity. The amnesia has been a natural defensive strategy. I did not understand I was violated, until the age of 24, despite the traumatic memories were already and gradually revived at partiality, by the age of 20. The awakening has started on August 2019, when I started to know what they did was wrong.

[Barney]

RA-Survivor This sounds a lot like my childhood...but instead of sexual...my was physical...my oldest memory in life is at 5 years old asking if I would ever get whipped across then face... what was going on before that that I asked that... I have very, very few memories (good or bad) of my childhood...the few I could bring up have been desensitized with EMDR...now I'm dealing with implicit (emotional) memories...EMDR can't do anything for those...I'm looking into Attachment Focused EMDR for those...we'll see...