Is it healthy to want help when I feel regressed?

[Sasha]

Today I have thought that I go into a regressed state when I get triggered. I can’t pinpoint how old I am, and don’t know how I would work this out tbh, as I don’t actually remember feeling this extreme state of despondency very much when I was younger, despite experiencing trauma from 0-18yrs old (plus into adulthood). I guess I was a good problem solver, and was also busy caring for and parenting others.

It’s like the re-experiencing of trauma in adulthood causes a reaction where I can quite suddenly no longer make all my (forced) self-parent choices. I lose my self-parent. Today I felt clearly that I lose my autonomy.

I have to wait for quite a while as I tend to extreme basics, sometimes over days very slowly, before I regain my autonomous, skilled self-parent.

In intimate relationships, people who address this regressed state in a parental way have been very soothing for me. I struggle to identify my needs, even my need for food and water becomes distorted. I usually can’t make choices and decisions and don’t know how I feel. A lot of thoughts swim around and I feel stuck, frozen and frightened.

I have a few friends who have laid me down with a blanket, given me water and told me to rest. Some have helped me with basic tasks, tidying or making me food. I find this so incredibly healing.

Is it unhealthy to feel so helped by this, and to want this sort of help?

[Sasha]

  I feel aware that this week I have been very full of thought and asking loads of questions etc.

[Not Alone]

Sasha,
It is okay to have a lot of questions. I don't have answers, but you are heard. I am glad that you have friends who can nurture you.

[woodsgnome]

There are times when I feel very needy, and yet scared to reach out, so good to know you've had friends try and assist you. This in itself is hard, yet you've been able to do this. I often can't -- no true friend (those I had have died), and the loneliness gets me if nothing else does.

Basically, it's okay not to feel okay. It's not a sign of weakness, only a reality of being a person in recovery. Maybe it shouldn't be, but there really are no 'shoulds' or 'should nots' going on when it gets this bad -- it is our reality and we go from there, if we can muster the courage to do so.

[sanmagic7]

i'm with the others, sasha.  my levels of neediness ebb and flow, quite like the ocean tides.  sometimes this is the only place i get answers that make sense for me, so your questions are welcome.  love and hugs, my dear.