Unusual trigger

[Bounty]

So this is my first post and I just need to talk to someone who would understand how I'm feeling.
Earlier this evening I was walking my dog when another pushed its head through the fence barking- this frightened me and triggered a flashback.
What happened to me did not involve dogs so I'm wondering if it was the fear itself that likely triggered the flashback. I was back there again and felt afraid as I couldn't stop what was happening.

I tried telling my partner that I'm struggling right now and crying in which he responded " don't worry, I was crying at a sad part on a programme earlier" (we don't live together). I know he means well but that really doesn't help me right now.

[RiverRabbit]

The dog was likely barking out of fear, threatening the intruder (you and your dog).  Usually the more intense, the more the dog is afraid.

Many of us with higher empathy levels (used for survival in abusive households) pick up fear with our mirror neurons and adopt what is being projected.

This happens to me quite often.  I not only adopt feelings of other people (usually the negative ones... go figure), but I also pick up on animals' emotions.

[buddy9832]

Hi bounty,

Welcome, I can relate. I don't think your necessarily alone. I find myself getting startled very easily by dogs barking, doorbells ringing, etc. I get incredibly angry when these events happen but my wife just looks at me like "what's your problem?"

I guess my point is you're not alone.

[Bach]

I can relate to this.  I get startled easily and sometimes it triggers a cascade of fear and anxiety that is way out of proportion to anything that is going on in my current day real world.  It's very frustrating.  One thing that I have been experimenting with that helps a little bit is 4-7-8 breathing:  https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324417#about

Articles about 4-7-8 breathing usually discuss it as a technique for falling asleep.  I don't find that it makes me sleepy, but it does seem to help me recover from startling and perhaps to reduce my reactivity.

[woodsgnome]

Welcome to OOTS, Bounty 

Hyper-vigilance can make survivors prone to a wide variety of experiences that trigger one's response. Even words can do this -- when I hear certain words that my abusers often used, I want to run for the hills. No one else would relate to it as strongly, though. And some of the words can even be quite ordinary -- for other folks but not for me.

Though dissociation is often described in negative terms, I've had that happen when it's actually served to distract or numb me, temporarily, from a strong EF. I wasn't aware of this 'til it happened with a therapist once. She'd used a word or something about her was apparently unconsciously reminding me of some abusive incident or person. I felt odd for that happening, but she explained how it's an ordinary reaction to dissociate sometimes and it's quite natural to do so.

It can be surprising and disheartening when it happens, but it's apparently fairly common. So you're not alone in this, Bounty.

[Not Alone]

I also can get triggered by loud noises, a tone of voice, an object, a word. . . the list is seemingly endless. Sometimes I have a specific memory that the trigger relates to. Other times I only experience emotions, but I'm not sure why. No, you are not alone.

[Bounty]

Thank you all for your responses it helps to know I'm not alone or loosing my mind completely which is how it can feel sometimes.

[Bermuda]

Hi there, I also have these triggers. They can come from seemingly anything.

I understand that it's very different from crying over a TV programme. I hope this helps you feel validated. You're not losing your mind, you just have a very well tuned survival response.

[Kizzie]

Definitely NOT losing your mind Bounty    After many years of ongoing trauma we tend to have have a hair trigger amygdala.  Try Googling "amygdala hijacking" for more info about this. 

[buddy9832]

Bounty, if it makes you feel better I had a startle event yesterday.

My wife and I were getting ready for dinner when the doorbell rang. It instantly startled me then followed by some anger.

I still second guess myself. I usually think everyone startles like this it is normal. I spoke with my wife about the event and she was very clear that it did not have any effect on her.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it happens to me fairly frequently and my response is usually not proportional to the stimulus.

[Blueberry]

What happened to me did not involve dogs so I'm wondering if it was the fear itself that likely triggered the flashback. I was back there again and felt afraid as I couldn't stop what was happening.

For years in healing I was always pretty confused about how a situation like yours with the dog could be triggering to me, when the situation itself had never happened before. I have since understood that there will be some thing about the situation that reminds me of my past. e.g. as an adult during the time I was falling apart I started getting panicky in airplanes. Years later the reason came to me in a kind of feeling way where I know it's true. It's not just some cognitive idea. In an airplane there is no firm ground underfoot and in my childhood there was no firm ground either, especially due to CSA. The CSA done to me had as far as I know nothing to do with airplanes or airports.

I used to get startled a lot by the telephone or any other unexpected noise. I used to actually jump at such things.

I understand too that being triggered and crying, being in a bad way due to cptsd, is very different from crying at a sad TV programme, so I just want to validate you there too.

Also welcome to the forum!   

[Bounty]

Why are triggers so strange, I was triggered earlier today when all I was doing was folding sheets of the line. It made me fold them in a way I hadn't done for a long time and that was how I had to do them at boarding school.
It's sounds so stupid when writing it down but I could feel the eyes of others watching me to make sure I did it correctly, I could feel the pressure of having to get it right otherwise you let others down.

I really hate feeling the way I do right now and feel so out of control.

[woodsgnome]

It sounds like your experience could in part be a symptom of hypervigilance, going back to when you were closely watched around simple tasks like folding laundry. As you note, you have felt 'watched' before, so even when you're not thinking about the old circumstance you had to deal with, your memory is lurking around the edges of your thoughts. All it remembers is the scary before-times and it can translate now as an unexpected trigger-point. It's awful.

That sort of thing seems to prevail in lots of cptsd reactions to almost anything. There can be the vaguest resemblance to the original trauma and bam, the triggering effect will explode.

I'd love to say those sorts of reactions go away after awhile, but it hasn't been my experience. The best I can say is that I'm quicker to realize what's happening sometimes, but at other times the damage is done and I'd like to escape to a hole in the ground. I do think it's a side effect of being hypervigilant as a regular part of life.

I hope you start to do better with these uninvited shocks to the system. 

[Three Roses]

I don't think that sounds stupid at all. I've been triggered by the sight of my own fingers before! (They look like the fingers of an abuser, a family member.)

Anything can be a trigger. BTW, triggers are also sometimes called "amygdala hijacking" due to the way your amygdala takes over from stimuli, before you've had a chance to think about it.

[marta1234]

  I've had unusual triggers too from mundane things (although I can't think of any right now), even specific food has me triggered in a severe flashback (which I still don't understand how...). You shouldn't be ashamed for feeling worse because of a trigger, but I understand your frustration. Hope you feel better Bounty
You're not alone in this.