So some people love themselves?

Started by goblinchild, January 22, 2021, 07:22:34 PM

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goblinchild

I can't fathom walking through life like that, it feels so unsafe. To just let yourself be yourself, and to like yourself and be comfortable and worthy and happy more often. The world doesn't seem like the kind of place one can safely do that. Do people like... just feel that way? Or do they put on a sort of mental armor as they deal with life outside their "comfort zone" and only be vulnerable when they're safe?

Because I feel like protecting the most vulnerable parts of you is a part of taking care of yourself too? Like a kind of self-worth? A "I am worthy of being protected/shielded" kind of self worth? Idk I'm very confused. I know there's some flaw in my thinking or some part of the situation I don't understand yet.

I feel like there's an aspect to people I can't quite describe? Like a basic worth, a light, a worthiness? It's like a kind of love maybe even. A spark? Idk. I'm so dissociated from mine. When I even get a small inkling for it, it's so incredibly painful. I would almost rather be in a state of shame 24/7. But when I think about "Okay, but what if you were to connect to that feeling? Underneath that pain, it probably feels great. Then maybe you wouldn't have to hate yourself all the time?" it seems unrealistic, how could I possibly deal with the trials of life in such a vulnerable state?

Not Alone

Quote from: goblinchild on January 22, 2021, 07:22:34 PM
To just let yourself be yourself, and to like yourself and be comfortable and worthy and happy more often. The world doesn't seem like the kind of place one can safely do that. Do people like... just feel that way? Or do they put on a sort of mental armor as they deal with life outside their "comfort zone" and only be vulnerable when they're safe?

I'm not speaking from experience, but I don't think that someone being comfortable with who he is means that he is vulnerable with everyone. I think it means that he likes who he is and then chooses to be vulnerable with safe people.

owl25

What notalone says makes sense. Also, I think loving yourself doesn't mean you open yourself up to everybody and anybody. I think you protect yourself with healthy boundaries. I think healthy boundaries are part of loving yourself.  You care enough about yourself to not let others hurt you. If they do, you then take steps to prevent that from happening again, be it by setting boundaries/having a conversation with them, or, if those others are unlikely to listen, by distancing yourself from them/not sharing as much with them.

It's by no means easy, it's a whole new way of being and something that will take practice and time. But it's possible because there are people in the world like this.

goblinchild

This helped me think a little differently, thanks.