Desert Flower's Recovery Journal

[Desert Flower]

Hi Papa Coco and thank you for taking the time to respond so extensively. These are some wise, kind and helpful things you wrote. Thank you for caring.

I'm glad you understand, as we do on this forum. I'm also glad I did reach out, 'cause you're right, it's good to get some support when we need it.

It's funny you and your wife call it 'the flu', because I had years of flu-like symptoms whenever I would get too stressed out. And now also, after the crying I feel feverish, cold and very tired. And I know these symptoms will go away again. Like the flu.

And you're touching on a very important point here too. These EF's they will keep coming and going. And I've been wanting for them to go away and stay away most of all. That's what I want therapy to do too. And it's important to accept things as they are. This is a condition that comes with EF's. I will have to accept that. Especially whenever I feel I'm doing okay again, I want to forget that there's gonna be new EF's. It will be like the times before when I had all these physical complaints on and off, varying with my stress levels, they will come (and go). So that's my task for the coming period: to accept that there will be EF's. However much that sucks.

 

[Chart]

DF, Falling off a bike is a terrifying experience. It comes out of nowhere, happens at lightning speed, and we lose all control. What better synopsis of an abused child's experience?

Please don't judge yourself too harshly. Accidents happen. Our past continues to rise up in us. You're aware of so much now. Give yourself some time. Feel what you need to feel. You know you're not alone. We're here with you. We're all contributing and becoming part of the cycle of ascendency over our fear-driven brains. We are getting better at this stuff, together, as all the fantastic and wonderful responses show. Your "accident" gave rise to a shower of understanding, yours and ours. It's so encouraging and forward moving. Thank you so much for sharing. (Please read my post directly to the Shame part of your brain :-)
 

[sanmagic7]

hey, DF, i have actually experienced years of those 'flu-like' symptoms when i've gotten overly stressed, and one day i actually discovered it's a real thing and it's called 'stress flue'.  just letting you know, it's not made up or anything like that.  you're not the only one who's experienced it.  and it's awful, miserable feeling, just like the flu is only one day away.  you're right, it eventually goes away, but i still hate it when it's around.

keep taking care of you, ok?  love and hugs

[Desert Flower]

Thank you everyone, for the wonderful responses indeed.
 

Chart, you made my heart smile again, thank you. 

And thank you too San, for pointing that out, I did not know it was called that. My temperature is definitely off: hot - cold - hot - etc.

Take care you too. 

[SenseOrgan]

It's wonderful you're inner child calmed down yesterday. I think everybody here gets the flavor of what you went trough. It's hard to believe in an EF, and scary to open up when so vulnerable and age regressed. Even here that can be the case. I hope you lost some of the aloneness by taking this step. Your openness about what you go through is also validating for me (and others, I presume). Thank you for that, and for your kind words.