Lockdown vs recovery

[jamesG.1]

Stating the obvious here, but...

Lockdown is wrecking my recovery right now. My trauma was caused by being trapped in place under pressure from relationships and work I couldn't escape from, even for a day. Lockdown is so similar.

My partner now is fine, but the emotional flashbacks to before are endless, and not allowing one to influence the other is really tough. The constant checking of my emotional responses is exhausting. You can control it, but only by dissociating, and then that causes problems that you can't escape. Way too familiar.

And the work... it's just relentless.

Between relationship and work, there's not a single quiet moment and with two teens in the house the volume is indescribable. And the drama... hells bells. It's taking everything I've got not to run right now. It's obliterating all my coping mechanisms.

On top of that, it's killing off the last of my old friendships. People are just falling off the radar. Horrible. Thank goodness the weather is picking up, the winter was hellish.

No answer of course, other than to wait it out. I've had my first jab, second soon(ish). I cannot wait to get back to the office, this is agony.

[Blue Rose]

I just wanted to send some healing wishes your way jamesG.1. Yes, thank goodness weather is picking up. It has been so difficult this winter. That's great news you've had your first jab and second one is due soon-ish. I've got my first jab tomorrow. It does feel like progress. I really hope you can back to the office soon, it is extremely difficult being stuck in the house for hours on end trying to work. I'm on a fixed-term contract due to end at end of July and I confess I am now counting down the weeks as I feel like I can't do it any more and I have found lockdown has really exacerbated EFs. My SO has been very supportive of me taking a break from work for a bit and I think that will be good, but I realise I am so fortunate to be able to do that. Hang in there, we will get through this.

[jamesG.1]

Thanks Blue Rose.

The EF's.. yeah... waves of the things. Lockdown is a real incubator.

We'll get there, let's hope the aftermath is enough of a rush to keep us airborne for a good long while.

Bring it on!

[Panda]

Blue Rose and jamesG.1, I hope you are hanging in there alright.


I have been dealing with lockdown okay, for the most part. But now it's been so long it just feels like it will continue forever.
It... doesn't really make the C-PTSD worse but the thing is, I'm slowly getting better and want to do stuff outside and involving people for the first time in years, maybe a decade even but I just... can't. That loss of control is hard to deal with.


Add to that that I can't get vaccinated in my country yet and sometimes it gets overwhelming. As both posters before me have said, at least the weather is finally picking up. And I have a garden I can spend time in, which makes me pretty privileged compared to some people but tbh in the spring time a garden is more work than actual relaxation for me.


We'll get through this!

[jamesG.1]

we will!