Im-practical

[Bermuda]

I'm a dreamer.
but I'm flexible, I bend and I bend.
I accomodate those around me,
I dare them to dream.
I sacrifice myself through my unending compromise.
I compromised once, but my dream was unrealistic.
I compromised again, to satisfy the non-dreamer.
I envisioned new ideas. I created new dreams.
I brainstormed hopes and ambitions.
I shed hope like I shed tears, but it's hopeless.
Today I realised that to inspire aspirations
in someone who doesn't chase fulfillment
...is to slowly suffocate myself.
Today he said he would compromise, and I suddenly realised...
Those hopes, those dreams, they were so far removed from me,
they were never mine.
They weren't my dreams.
Today I remembered who I am.
Here and now I dare to dream. I dare to dream MY dream,
however hopeless, far-fetched, and impractical it may be.
It is mine, and it belongs to me.
I deserve to dream.

[rainydiary]

Bermuda, thank you for sharing this.  It felt like thoughts I've had myself.  I'm glad you put this out for us to read.

[Papa Coco]

Bermuda,

Very nicely written, and meaningful to me too. Thank you for posting it.

[Bermuda]

Thanks to those who have read and commented so quickly. I would love this thread to become a positive place to dream and to share the dreams that you had, that maybe you let go of because they felt not good enough.

My dream: I remember the first time I saw the desert as a child like people who describe their first sight of the ocean. The seemingly unending beauty of it captured me. The architecture and how it embraced the elements that would otherwise seem harsh, the use of natural resources and minimal interiors, the openness, and the earthen colours. Outdoor kitchens, roof terraces, and simplicity excite me. I dream of a simple home, one that blurs boundries of indoors and outdoors, and I want a garden. I want to live somewhere I can grow metre beans and okra, where I can wash my clothes in a basin and sun them on the roof.

Sometimes I feel like I'm still planning my escape, my escape from my escape. Sometimes I feel bad about this, but I deserve to dream, and typing this dream out makes it feel more attainable.

[rainydiary]

In my imagination I've been really connected and popular and helpful.  I find true connection so difficult and imagine it easier.  During the pandemic I had some interactions with folks from the past that helped me see I am more connected with others than I realized.

I also wanted to be a marine biologist when I was a child.  I love the water and being near, on, by water.  I got discouraged from science and math as I went through school so went away from that plan.  But I am planning to move closer to the ocean so perhaps there will be a way I can be involved with it in the future.

[Bermuda]

That's a wonderful and wonderfully valid dream.