A little intro :)

[Sloanely]

I began to develop C-PTSD in early childhood with a mother who essentially pretended that I didn't exist. She eventually took her own life, which I blamed myself for profusely. An emotionally and verbally abusive step-mother came into the picture less than a year after those events took place, which exacerbated my fawning trauma response. I became very good at becoming pretty invisible as the middle child.

Many times throughout my adolescence, I would nonchalantly comment on something that had taken place at home, to which my friends would literally drop their jaws - and I would just brush it off as being "normal." These events continued even into adulthood and I only recently found a temporary break now that I am married. My husband's family, as well as many close friends, have helped me come to grips with the term "trauma." I am currently researching C-PTSD through a number of helpful books, and also searching for a trauma-based therapist to begin my journey of fixing the narrative in my head.

I look forward to finding support through this group <3 I'm already feeling at home. Thank you!!

[Blueberry]

  A warm welcome to the forum, Sloanely! It's a really supportive place here. So glad you already feel at home. 

[Kizzie]

Hi Sloanely and a very warm welcome to OOTS    So glad you found us and I think you'll find members      to be validating, supportive and caring. It's great you have friends and family now who support and validate you, that, having a T and being here all goes a long way toward recovery and healing.

It's crazy isn't it what we come to accept as 'normal'?!     We all have to find a new normal once we figure we were traumatized.  Sounds like you're well underway   

[Not Alone]

Sloanely, a warm welcome to OOTS. 

[Larry]

 

[Pippi]

Welcome (from a fellow middle child)!  So glad you are here.   

[Dante]

Welcome Sloanly!  What stood out for me in your post was what you thought was normal that would make other's jaws drop.  I can say definitely, same here!  I just thought everyone went through what I did, I didn't realize what was normal but with work I'm now finally starting to peel it apart.  Figuring out what wasn't normal is a necessary step to healing from it.

[Papa Coco]

Hi Sloanly,

Welcome to the site. I'm glad you found it. I found it about 2 months ago and it's been wonderful!  A great place for me to share experiences back and forth with people who really, truly understand childhood trauma as it pertains to those of us with C-PTSD. I'm happy to hear you're searching for a good C-PTSD-wise therapist.

Your childhood story touches my heart. No one should ever be made to feel unwanted. But it's good to hear your husband's family is being helpful in orienting you to the ins and outs of trauma.

There are a lot of people on this site who've walked a mile in each other's shoes, and are, therefore, quite easy to talk with. I hope you find the support you need, and I'm excited to hear more from you as we all move forward together on our healing journeys.