Dreams Triggering EFs

[Dante]

So I had a pretty major breakthrough in the sense that I think the final piece of the puzzle as to why I am the way I am fell into place during some recovery work this weekend.  I feel like the why-quest is over.  Now comes the hard part of taking that information and actually recovering, but this has been a lifelong journey and I am grateful to be here.  As a result of that, I had a great weekend - was relaxed, at peace, was able to let someone else take care for me in a way that was fulfilling to them instead of feeling guilty or bad for not weighting on everyone else (fawning).

But last night, I had a strange dream.  I can even understand the dream in the context of what I now feel like I understand about my past.  But that dream triggered me, and I'm 4 hours into a pretty intense EF.  I don't have any idea how to get past it, other than just riding it out, but I'm curious.  Has anyone else found that dreams trigger EFs?

[Armee]

Here's a hug while you ride it out...

I've suspected dreams of causing them sometimes.

[Dante]

Thanks, Armee. 

[rainydiary]

Dante, I appreciate you asking this.  I woke up today from dreams I can't remember but they were unsettling to me.  I hadn't considered if I was in an EF this morning because I couldn't remember my dreams.  I definitely think it is possible. 

[Dante]

Thanks, rainy.  This has happened before (more than once) but this is the first time it occurred to me it might be that.

[bluepalm]

Dante, I have regularly experienced nightmares that leave me exhausted and in turmoil for up to 48 hours or more.

My nightmares centre on my childhood home and my parents and trying to get 'home' and always failing. The fact that I have to struggle to emerge from the exhaustion and turmoil I feel upon waking is, for me, evidence that the dream has triggered some emotional flashback that carries well into my waking hours.

I've written elsewhere (in the medication section) of recently seeking medication to deal with these nightmares because the fallout is so debilitating. And I've found that what has been prescribed, Prazosin, has not only taken the edge off the nightmare (so I can wake and remember the content of the dream clearly but not be so emotionally devastated) but has also considerably lessened the aftermath, what I understand to be a triggering into an emotional flashback.

I'm not suggesting this medication is an answer for you or anyone else. However, I thought my experience could be useful for others to hear.

[Papa Coco]

Hi Dante,

To your question, YUP!  My dreams often trigger Flashbacks, and vice-versa. (PS: Does EF stand for Emotional Flashback? I see it in various posts and keep wondering what it means).

These dream-triggered EFs are a gem that my therapist is always happy I bring to him because they are a golden opportunity to get some extra mileage out of that day's session. Usually, once my brain is ready to release long-standing pent up emotions through dreams and EFs, that's when my brain and heart are ready to talk AND listen to each other. For me, being in therapy during an EF makes for the most productive therapy sessions of them all.

I'm not saying this is true for everyone, but I use this forum simply as a place to share what has worked and not worked for me, just in case anyone sees something they can use. I also read what has and hasn't worked for others, just in case I can use those things in my healing as well.

[Dante]

Thanks, bluepalm.  That sounds very similar to what I experience.  It leaves me in a dark place for at least the rest of the day, and sometimes longer.  I will look into the medication that you mentioned, thanks for sharing that.

Thanks Papa Coco.  Yes, EF = emotional flashback.  I haven't found a therapist yet worth a $#@! so I guess I'll have to take your word for it that there are diamonds in the rough. 

[Larry]

I hope you are feeling better, 

[Dante]

Thank you.  Still having a rough day, but hanging on.  Thank you all for the support!

[BeeKeeper]

Hey Dante,

I experience the exact same thing. There are two things that help and you have already identified one: riding it out. While you do so, make sure that you can do something within your routine that brings you predictability. Comfort is a plus if you have parts of your routine that provide that.

The other thing that's helped enormously is not fighting it. I hate to use the word "acceptance", because that seems to trigger people, and it did for me for 3 solid years! But the point is, instead of looking and seeing the "icky, horrible part" which your conscious mind wants to focus on, find a place to look at dream dynamics as symbols, placeholders, or pictorial representations of areas that need resolution.

For instance if you have a dying dream, instead of looking at the horror and fear, maybe shift focus to what you might be afraid of losing. If you have a threat dream, it's important to identify the main characters, which symbolize all elements of the threat. Don't forget to include yourself, since not only do you play the starring role, but (I believe) other additional roles IN THE SAME DREAM. This allows our mind to take those conflicts which we can't resolve, (should I? shouldn't I) and bring them out in the open, and another chance at resolution.

I hope the initial feelings have subsided, All the best to you. 

[Dante]

Hi BeeKeeper, thanks.  That sounds like a good idea.  I tried riding it out for two days, but in the end wound up caving to old, unhealthy methods of self soothing.  In the end, self-caused fear, shame and disgust were more familiar and comfortable for me than whatever else was resulting from that dream.  I'll have to ride these out now, but I will definitely re-read this when (not if) it happens again.