Tears for my grandmother

[rainydiary]

I am grieving for you
Even though I've never liked you
Your story and life have inspired me
I am proud of the risk you took
To leave a hurtful and abusive home
I don't think you healed or made peace
You passed on trauma to my mother
Which she passed on to me in my cells
Today I cried because you are dying
After years of dementia
I am grieving because you've been scared
Even though I've never liked you
You made me feel silly
I never felt like I knew you
I never felt comfortable around you
Your childhood home made me feel eerie
Which now I know is because it was
I wish you hadn't suffered
I wish you have a peaceful transition
I hope for strength
In how your death will shift dynamics 
I hope for strength
To keep healing
Thank you for being courageous
In the ways you could
It made a difference and gave me a chance

[Kizzie]

   rainydiary

[Not Alone]

So very honest and kind.

[dollyvee]

 

[Mary Ann]

It's so sad and complicated, grieving for family you don't like...your poem speaks for a lot of us....thank you for sharing it

[woodsgnome]

Rainydiary, you wrote of, and then showed, great courage in sharing these words from your heart. Thank you.   

[rainydiary]

Thank you all for your support and for reading. 

I imagine processing this all will be ongoing.  It is unclear how long my grandmother may live as it could be months or less.