Hi there....

[MeHealing12]

Hi there,
happy to be here... well... not really. Right? Actually I wished I would not need that kind of support, but well... as I need it, I am happy that I found this forum!!
I am struggling for most of my life with all kind of psychological issues: anxiety, eating disorder, depression, somatic disorder, gastrointestinal irritation syndrome, and much more diagnoses.
I had years of therapy and clinic. Always was their "perfect patient" as I did what I was told to do! But did I get better?? Not really!
It was my last therapiest that finally saw what really is going on: he diagnosed me with cPTSD and treated me in that way. Ego-State-Therapie, stabilization, etc... First time in my life I really made progresses and felt better. For the last 2 years I felt as good as never before (with some ups and downs, but only normal ones). Now it happened again: re-traumatization with following depression...
I finished the therapy last November. So I hope to find a place here to stabilize myself again and to heal further!

[NarcKiddo]

Hello, and welcome.

Has the re-traumatisation happened since you finished the therapy in November? Everyone here is supportive and helpful, but since you found your last therapist to be good I am wondering if you might benefit from seeing him again for a few sessions.

Regardless, it's good to have you on board and I wish you all the best on your healing journey.

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome MeHealing    Glad you found your way here and I hope you feel comfortable enough to post and supported in your journey. Hearing that you made progress with a therapist who knows about CPTSD and can provide effective treatment is wonderful - we so need more therapists like him.  I echo NarcKiddo in wondering if you would be able to continue seeing him? 

[Armee]

Welcome! Retraumatization sucks and yet when it has happened to me it has allowed me to heal deeper and more fully. I'm so sorry though that you were retraumatized. It is very very tough to deal with. We'll be here to support you.

[Papa Coco]

Hi MeHealing!

Welcome to the forum. Your story sounds eerily similar to mine. All the same symptoms, plus trust issues, social anxiety, travel anxiety, sleep issues, depression/anxiety swings, musculoskeletal anomalies from a lifetime of armoring. It's only been the last 20% of my life where I've found a therapist, a medical doctor, and a series of massage therapists who understand C-PTSD and have been able to help.

Like you I find that I'm getting better, but will I ever be cured? I go back to my AA meetings where we talked about how we strive for progress, not perfection. Once we've been where we've been in life we can't ever be who we would have been if the abuse hadn't happened. BUT the good news is that we have helpful people in our world today who can guide us to finding ways to manage and live good, productive, happy lives even while the C-PTSD is present.

My dad may have been a big part of my problem, but he wasn't ALL bad. He lost his right arm in WWII. I was born twenty years later. I saw my dad build houses, rebuild engines, paint cars, lift and carry more weight than any man I've ever known. He never grew a new arm, but he learned how to live with his "disability."  I see myself in that same place with my affliction. I have flashbacks that paralyze me from time to time. I have trust issues that will never ever go away. But I took my lesson from my dad. I deal with it. I stay away from watching the news because it causes flashbacks. I stay away from toxic people because they ignite all my flashback memories of the toxicity of my childhood. I do things to protect myself and I learn, learn, learn from books and this forum and my therapist and any other place where I can get information that will keep me upright. Some days I still suffer, but not as hopelessly as I did the first 80% of my life. I'm seeing progress and I'm learning to live a good life even with the "affliction."

I'm sorry for the struggle that brought you here, but I'm very glad you found the forum. It has given me almost two years of comfort. There are some amazing people on this forum. I feel more trust for these folks than I've felt in any other group of people I've ever physically or virtually interacted with. I sincerely hope your experience here is as rewarding as mine has been.

Welcome.

[Not Alone]

Welcome.