Not motivated

[Badmemories]

Anything that anyone wants to use that I post is fine! Great Idea!

[Kizzie]

Thanks so much for this Katz and for allowing us to use your examples BadMemories!

One thing I was thinking is that perhaps if it were two pages, one with a description of the process, much like you did in your original post Katz and examples such as yours and BadMemories and then have a separate worksheet (that has less to read and is a  fairly simple, clean page with headings and perhaps a short directional sentence), that would be helpful for people - they wuld have an overview of what they're going to do before they do it.

It's your description of reframing and yours and BadMemories examples that set this apart from other CBT exercise sheets and the use of the language "frame" "reframe" is different from CBT and may help users to understand the process more easily, especially when the language of CPTSD (e.g., EFs, the four F's) is included.  I think too that even though most people doing the worksheet will know what these CPTSD related terms mean, it would be helpful to include a description of each on the worksheet (thus two pages would probably be best), so users are all on the same page and they don't have to go elsewhere to read up.

I think Step Three is crucial in all of this so I would definitely keep it.   

Excellent job Katz, thanks for your work on this     Anyone else have feedback for Katz? 

[Badmemories]

I like the Idea on keeping a worksheet simple. It makes it easier to work with! now but I will work on shortening the 4 F's part of it and post it here when I do it!

I have to do some cleaning My daughter is going to have a heart attack when she gets home. she is somewhat OCD... I raised her and My Son and let them discover their world! It is a messy way because they get out stuff and don't put it back. It does raise intelligent kids though. I am easy going and don't mind the mess to a point. Then it drives me crazy and then I have to get it all put away again! it is at that point RIGHT NOW! My Grandaughter will help me, but she is only 5 so she can't do a lot of it. Today she has been writing on the turtle tank with a grease pen, drawing, papers all over, playing with her dolls, playing with Lego's, eating soup, dishes still in LR, and reading books...so the carpet is covered with the stuff she has been doing! 

[Kizzie]

How does this look? 

CPTSD EMOTIONAL FLASHBACKS:
EXERCISE IN REFRAMING TOXIC THINKING

Courtesy of Schrodinger's Cat, BadMemories & Kizzie

A "scene" is what you picture in your mind, the "frame" is how you express it. For example, you hear "mousse au chocolat" (frame) and it instantly evokes tastes, smells, specific memories, maybe a certain kind of chocolate, maybe the social setting you expect to find it in, maybe the colour of your favourite bowl. With CPTSD scenes are often framed by our Inner Critic (Icr) in ways that trigger Emotional Flashbacks, a habit of thinking that we can learn to interrupt and/or counteract by changing the language we use to reframe the scene and defuel the ICr.

CPTSD Scene: Housework – you look around your house and it does not meet the (perfectionistic) standards you set for yourself which engages your Inner Critic.

CPTSD Frame: Your ICr kicks in and tells you that you are lazy, that nothing you do is ever good enough, that you are not good enough and never will be,  and triggers an Emotional Flashback (EF). You feel like a small child overwhelmed by feelings of worthlessness and of being defective., and perhaps freeze or feel anxious and depressed.

Reframe:  Your ICR's assessment of the scene is not accurate.  The toxic framing is taken from the past, from layers of pain and trauma that were inflicted by people who abused you. Those are their thoughts, not yours and you need to take back your right to look at your experiences and find realistic, rational and kinder words for reframing the event.

EXAMPLE EXERCISE

Step One:  Identify the Scene - Ask yourself "What is the problematic thought that triggered my EF?

Example: My house is a mess (Scene)

Step Two: How Did I Frame the Scene? - Ask yourself "What feelings did the scene evoke and where did that come from?"

Example: I am lazy (Frame) which then because of our CPTSD can devolve into feeling worthless, inept and other negatives as the Inner Critic gets rolling.  Where did that come from? My FOO repeatedly told me I am lazy, selfish, inept, not doing enough of my duty, not being selfless enough because if I were I'd be able to willpower my way out of this, and this proves that I'm worthless. I'm going into a "Freeze" response because my mother was responded to her traumas and problems with grimly determined actionism. At such times especially, her standards were exacting, and she'd try to exert control down into the tiniest detail. Since her temper was on a hair-trigger, it was best to stay out of her way - to just be small and insignificant, nothing that got in her way or attracted her attention.

Step Three:   How Can I Reframe the Scene? - Ask yourself, "What is a more accurate, realistic and kinder way of thinking about this?"

Example: I am not lazy and my house is just fine.  I only feel this way because I learned to be perfectionistic to protect myself in childhood from my FOO's criticism and rejection.  These are ghost voices from the past that interfere with my life and which I will banish.

CPTSD EMOTIONAL FLASHBACK EXERCISE: REFRAMING TOXIC THINKING

Step One:  Identify the Scene - Ask yourself "What is the problematic thought that triggered my EF?







Step Two: How Did I Frame the Scene? - Ask yourself "What feelings did the scene evoke and where did that come from?"









Step Three:   How Can I Reframe the Scene? - Ask yourself, "What is a more accurate, realistic and kinder way of thinking about this?"

[Kizzie]

OK, the completed version of the Reframing exercise is attached and has also been uploaded to the "Recovery" forum under "Toolbox" - tks Cat and you too BadMemories.

[Blueberry]

I guess it's depression, which is part of the CPTSD.  ...  I don't work, so you'd think my life would be in order.  But it's a mess.  I make the basic effort to keep the house clean enough that I'm not living in squalor, and I usually manage to keep the bills paid before they are late.  Other than that, I just can't get myself motivated enough to care about anything. 

It's particularly bad now, when I am not even interested in doing anything enjoyable.  Usually I at least like to read or watch tv, but there are plenty of days that I spend in bed, or just sort of staring off into space.  I have therapy tomorrow, and I don't want to go.  I don't want to talk, analyze, or work on anything. 

I do have good days, where I work frantically to try to catch up on the things I neglect.  But they aren't often or consistent enough for me to gain any traction.  I'm constantly in catch up mode. 

I think this is also the freeze part of CPTSD. 

BBM

This is a very old post I'm bumping. It's spot on for me atm and tbh most of the time. I bolded "I'm constantly in catch up mode" because my maternal grandparents were too and I sometimes wonder about the connection. I spent parts of my childhood with them. It just seemed part of life to never really be caught up on things.

I'm hardly working atm either but that doesn't induce me to do things like continue unpacking, make my apt home-like or even beautiful or make it feel safe or arrange it to have everything to hand which helps me strengthen my healthy, resilient paths.
Tho tbh I have done a few things today which help a little, like putting a few things away, flattening an empty moving box and throwing it on the pile, opened the window 3 times to let in sun and fresh air and one of those times even some music being played down below, unusually. That was much more common when I lived in the centre of town. I miss it. Shows me what all I used to help keep depression at bay.

I read the rest of the thread too and although there are exercises to help, I don't feel like doing any of them. I don't want people to start feeling sorry for me OR come up with suggestions OR think I want them to feel sorry for me. One reason I haven't reached out irl at all.

Some of the answer mbr emotion overload got from her T was helpful though and reminds me of what my current T says, though it's not quite the same. My T said ages ago that things will get easiER but not easy. Other people on here have been told recovery is possible and/or they show here in their posts that it is for them. They are them, I am me. For me it doesn't seem possible.

My current T has said it's good when I let everything fall by the wayside and 'do more or less nothing' (that's my description of it) because it means I can stop running from what's all buried underneath, even if it takes a long time to really stop running and to really feel. I DON'T LIKE FEELING. Sorry for yelling but it's the truth.

I dozed a lot today and read intermittently. Had a bunch of nightmares about FOO and current state of VLC. I did the more useful things after all that.