Collapse immobility

[PaperDoll]

Yesterday I was very badly triggered and ended up collapsing although I did not lose consciousness. My husband was ready to call an ambulance. I have experienced this a few times in the past. I am not sure what the exact trigger was. I started to feel disorientated, had double-vision and panic rising. It escalated and my body flopped. I could hear my husband speaking to me but couldn't reply and was "out of it".

I looked it up today online and found some information on collapse immobility which is part of the defence cascade with fight, flight or freeze. In animals it's playing dead to avoid being eaten by predators.

Be grateful for support if anyone has any more information about this or has experienced it.

[Blueberry]

I've seen it in others, e.g. in inpatient therapy. And sometimes I have simply fallen and been unable to get up for a few minutes. I know I've written about it on OOTS. I need to think where.

Here sounds kind of similar, maybe: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=15572.msg136359#msg136359

[Kizzie]

Paper doll sorry to hear about collapsing, that must be really frightening. It does sound like conversion disorder which as you likely know is a type of PNES (psychogenic-nonepileptic-seizures). Here's a link -https://www.epilepsy.com/stories/truth-about-psychogenic-nonepileptic-seizures. We have had a few people who experience this so hopefully they will reply.

[Papa Coco]

I've not experienced it to the degree as you have, but I have felt myself going almost to that point.

As you learn more about this phenomenon, I hope you'll share what you learn with us.

Meanwhile, when I think of how we leave our bodies during abuse, I then wonder if what you experienced is connected to the same reaction that happened when some abuse happened to you in the past.

Speaking only for myself, during the more severe abusive situations I was in as a child, I tended to let my body go limp and numb so I could "let it happen" without fighting and getting hurt. It was a strategy of compliance. Let them do what they want so they don't hurt me if I resist.

So that makes me wonder if what happened to you yesterday was triggered by some similar experience in your past. Did your body remember something, and then go into the same paralysis it did then? 

I'M NOT A THERAPIST, so that last sentence was just me thinking outside the box. It's more of a question than it is an answer.

[Armee]

Yeah like Papa C maybe not to the extent as you but definitely to the point of nonresponsivness and appearing asleep, or having sleep paralysis. I think it's normal if part of your original trauma response included collapse that this would replay when triggered. I've also found that I react to triggers even when I am not consciously aware they are there or that they are triggers.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. keep going. It gets worse before it gets better but it does get better and you are not going crazy. You are in the early stages of healing.   

[PaperDoll]

Thank you Blueberry, Kizzie, Papa Coco and Armee for your replies.

I'm not familiar with conversion disorder. Thank you for the links.

Papa Coco, that makes sense. I think that is what is happening to me. When there is no accompanying visual flashback it feels really confusing as I cannot place the memory.

I found an academic article online which explains the defence cascade. It may be triggering as it contains some anecdotal evidence of stories of abuse so I will post below with a trigger warning:

Trigger Warning (stories of abuse including SA and PA): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4495877/