Recovery journal Marianne

[Marianne]

Also, my work is my joy. I work with autistic and mentally disabled kids. They are really my joy.

Im also spending a weekend with kid. It is fun.

And dad did nice, he brought us to the b&b. With such practical things he is kind.

[StartingHealing]

Hello Marianne,

I can totally relate to the feelings you have expressed. 

I thought I might give a bit of hope.   

https://www.cgsecurity.org/wiki/TestDisk_Download

You will need to download and install the proper version for your computer OS.  However, this can recover files, pictures, basically anything that you have deleted.  I can't say that it's 100% recovery rate because if there had been other files written onto that area of your storage.  I can say that I have used this before (the photorec part) and the amount of files recovered was impressive.

Hope this helps.

[natureluvr]

Hello Marianne, I have read your journal, and feel sad for you that you are in the difficult situation that you are in.  BTW, I'm a Christian too.  I understand how it can complicate matters such as being required to forgive, show honor to parents, etc.  My personal understanding of forgiveness, is that it means giving up the right to punish a person who has hurt us.  And, we can forgive someone, and still stay away from them for our own self protection.  However, I also think forgiveness includes letting go of anger and bitterness.  I think one of the mistakes some people make is thinking forgiveness is a "once and done" thing. I'm learning that it is a long process, and probably lifelong for those of us with severe abuse.  I, too, will feel forgiving and free of anger, and then another day a memory will come up, or a youtube video on narcissism will reveal to me a new layer of how I was hurt and my life damaged, and I'll get angry again.  I think it is a matter of working through all of the stuff that they have done to us.  For me, it feels like removing the layers of an onion one my one. 

Prayers and best wishes to you and your son, and your father as well.