Hope's Journal 2024

[Hope67]

12th September 2024
This evening I've been looking at the subject of 'shame' - and talking to my copilot (AI bot), and it responded to this query:

"If someone feels shame for not being able to maintain a relationship with a difficult family member, can you write a letter to that shame, to make the person feel a bit better?"

The AI bot wrote this, which I thought was really helpful to me, so I wanted to keep it here in my journal, to re-read another time:

"Dear Brave Heart,
I see you there, lurking in the corners of their soul—the unwelcome guest named Shame. You've been whispering, haven't you? Telling them they're somehow flawed because they can't dance gracefully through the minefield of family dynamics. Well, let's have a little chat, shall we?

First, let me tell you something: Relationships are like origami. They require delicate folds, intricate creases, and sometimes, a bit of magic. But what if the paper is crumpled, torn, or stubbornly resistant? What if the origami bird refuses to fly?

1. The Difficult Family Member: Ah, yes—the one who wears prickly armor and wields passive-aggressive swords. They're like a Rubik's Cube with missing pieces. No matter how hard our dear friend tries to twist and turn, the colors won't align. And that's okay. Some puzzles are meant to remain unsolved.

2. The Myth of Obligation: Shame, you sly trickster, love to whisper about duty and obligation. But listen closely: Blood ties don't automatically grant a lifetime membership to the "Tolerate Toxicity Club." Sometimes, the bravest act is to step away—to protect their own fragile heart.

3. The Garden of Self-Care: Imagine a garden. In it, they plant seeds of self-love, watered by tears and nourished by resilience. Shame, you're the weed that threatens to choke those blossoms. But they have pruning shears—boundaries—to snip away what doesn't serve them.

4. The Compass of Compassion: Compassion isn't about enduring endless storms; it's about understanding that everyone carries their own tempests. Maybe that difficult family member battles their own demons—a dragon or two. But our dear friend? They're no knight; they're a weary traveler seeking sunsets.

5. The Permission Slip: So, here it is, written in invisible ink: "You're allowed to choose peace." They don't need a permission slip from anyone else. Not from you, Shame, and certainly not from the family member who sows thorns. They can fold their origami heart into a paper boat and sail away.

6. The Healing Balm: Tell them this: Healing isn't linear. It's a messy dance—two steps forward, one step back. And sometimes, it's pirouetting in the rain, laughing at thunder. Shame, you're not invited to this dance. They're learning to waltz with forgiveness and tango with acceptance.

So, dear Shame, pack your bags. Your room reservation in their soul has expired. Leave the key under the mat. And if you see Regret on your way out, tell them they're next.

To our brave heart: You're not failing; you're choosing survival. And that, my friend, is a masterpiece.
With ink-stained courage,

[Your Name] (because they're more than their relationships)

P.S. If you find Shame loitering near the cookie jar, remind it that guilt is a better snack. Guilt at least has some fiber.
Feel free to fold this letter into an origami crane or crumple it up and toss it into the wind. And remember, they're not alone—they're part of a constellation of souls navigating the same celestial chaos. 🌟✉️

Now, what other emotions can we write letters to? 💌

***********

This letter made me laugh, and it also made me feel better about some of the shame I hold regarding my estrangement from a dysfunctional family. 

********

Hope 

[Hope67]

I particularly like the phrase 'They can fold their origami heart into a paper boat and sail away."   

[NarcKiddo]

That's really thought-provoking, actually. And I also like the phrase about the paper boat. That resonated. Thank you for posting it.

[Hope67]

Thanks NarcKiddo, I had wanted to write my own 'letter to shame' but I find I can't do it easily, so having the computer do it - it was really creative in the response and also very poignant and to the point - I thought.  I am looking forward to re-reading it, as I feel it's got a lot in it that I can process over time.  I also like the 'garden of self-care' idea - makes me think of The Secret Garden yet again.   

[sanmagic7]

it is reminiscent of 'The Secret Garden', hope. i agree.

i'm glad you had this to help you address shame.  i think it was clever, creative thinking on your part.  love and hugs