Hello

[zeroempathy]

I'm not great at introductions. I'm a fifty year old guy and I guess I'm only now realizing there was something really messed up about how I was raised. I'm probably in denial of the extent of the damage that was done. I'm in denial about some of the things I experienced as an adult, too.

It's weird to say because I knew it was really bad. I knew there was abuse, but I didn't even know emotional neglect was a thing until a few days ago.

I'm completely cut off from society. I think I might dissociate and not even know it.

[Chart]

Hello Zeroempathy and welcome to the Forum. Sounds like you are at the beginnings of having empathy for yourself. Very sorry to hear your story. I believe dissociation is always initially unconscious. It's inherent in the fact that nearly all the time we don't realize we were abused. The process of healing starts with bringing into awareness all the pain and suffering we were subjected to, understanding how our treatment impact our bodies and mind, and now what can be done to help us lift out of that state and change for the better. Glad you've found us. Sending hugs and support if that's ok...
 

[Kizzie]

Hello and a warm welcome to Out of the Storm zeroempathy, so glad you found your way to us. Emotional neglect is definitely a form of abuse in Complex Relational Trauma and as you read here and in some of the links, you'll see it's one reason to dissociate and isolate. It helps avoid the hurt that is very deep, primal even because it strikes at the very essence of our being.

We all get that here and that means you are safe and aren't as alone with your pain anymore. 

[NarcKiddo]

Hello, and welcome. I'm in my fifties and it was only relatively recently that I, too, found out that emotional neglect is a thing. A thing I experienced.

Discovering we dissociate is also pretty astonishing. I am aware that some people obviously "zone out" and I guess that at some point they could become aware because others tell them, or react to their zoning out. But it's also possible, in my experience, to dissociate while maintaining a very convincing illusion of being fully functional and present. Just going onto "autopilot", if you will.

I am very glad you found us and hope you will find comfort from interacting with us here at OOTS.