When the situation doesn't fit the feelings

[Boatsetsailrose]

This week I came back from my partners back to my life... There is nothing wrong with my life and I have worked to make it as manageable as possible ..
I did however get a huge sense of stress and feeling overwhelmed ++ and anxiety where I was finding it hard to breathe- as this continued I felt more out of control - trying to assert control with ocd type thinking -
Whilst in it I had a big sense of 'this experience just doesn't fit my current situation ! Nothing was particularly pending, there were no outstanding issues and all was well -
I sat with the feelings and went into some meditation and honed in on the fear - I realised that I was terrified of something going wrong, being verbally attacked or criticised - someone coming and having a go at me ...
Then it clicked 'this is all stuff from my childhood and I sat and accepted it and acknowledged that it is not real in the current situation - this helped a lot
And then I developed an affirmation ( I don't usually like affirmations but someone suggested it and so I took it on)
' I am safe and in gods care - I am safe in the universe -
After that the fear started to pass and life began to look normal again

[Jdog]

Boatsailrose-

It sounds as if you really did a great job processing your fears, realizing they were rooted in things that no longer could hurt you, and moving back into your own skin.  That takes a good bit of courage, focus, and hard work.  Congrats on staying with the discomfort and allowing feelings to speak to you!

[Kizzie]

    Good for you Boats!     and   

[woodsgnome]

Yes, and kudos for finding your way through.

I've many reservations about affirmations as well, but sometimes they can work.

And seeing the past as past, that's key and soooo difficult, especially when one finds themselves within a trigger-prone situation.

Something I've tried to incorporate is just a different way of viewing the life story, starting with the idea that it is indeed a story. Albeit the story kind of continues, but how it affects me now can be altered from the trigger-patterns that have been so strong. Full change is very hard, as the "stuff" got so ingrained, but "one step at a time" comes into play.

We all tend to view our lives as singular linear straight-line journeys, when in fact what's ever truly constant? I know it gets overplayed, but a popular observation nowadays is to realize that life is never constant and always changing.

So a favorite thing I try to do is picture "myself" as a movie screen. On it I run a host of screenings ranging from comedies to tragedies and horror flicks, through tragi-comedies to documentaries, and of course I'm often the major character I see. And, like happens with any movie or stage production, I can get drawn into thinking it's all real, right now.

Then the show ends, the lights come back up, there's the stage or screen and what was seen there is nowhere to be found. I can have memories of it, some of them powerful. But the show is over. Nothing changed. Or...?

I might stumble on my way from the theater, I might laugh, or cry, or wonder, maybe even want to run away (again) but then I realize--I'm not in that production anymore. I am free...feel it...free! Now!

[C.]

Thank you for sharing this wonderful example.  It's just what I needed to hear today and something that I hope to use w/my own experiences in the future-I love your affirmation, those words flow easily for me too.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you for sharing -
It feels good to start a post off and then it helps other people as well
I love how we help each other

[C.]

Exactly!