Parts/people in my head

[Kittylover]

Does anyone else here have parts or people in there head..,,.? I'm wondering if CPTSD is enough to explain my brain or if I have DID or DDnos-the thing is my parts don't completely take over and I don't lose time .

[FredrickaGoshlox]

Hey, without being worried, I'd go to a very good psychiatrist and tell him your symptoms. If you've been traumatized, we all get many weird symptoms and they can be treated. I have not experienced this, but I easily disassociate moreso than the average person. My mind can be in one place and I can be doing something else and then I don't even remember, say, getting a key from my daughter or where I put it because I'm so in my head. This is common with CPTSD as are others ways to disassociate, I believe.

There is treatment for everything, especially the trauma. I've gotten much, much happier than I started out and can manage my symptoms pretty well unless extremely triggered, which usually happens when I have to even just hear the voice of anyone in FOO.

I hope you go for help and can figure out your stuff. We may not all go through the same exact things, but  I'm sure everyone here understands and will support you on your journey.

[mourningdove]

I do, Kittylover. You're not alone. 

I am in a similar boat in that my parts do not seem to take over completely, nor do I seem to lose time. I find it confusing to know how to think about it: My T says that I have CPTSD and a dissociative disorder (though not yet sure which one); Judith Herman, who initially proposed the category of CPTSD, thought of CPTSD as including MPD/DID (and also DDNOS, I would think, judging by the context of her book, Trauma and Recovery); Internal Family Systems theory says that everyone has parts(!); and when people on OOTS talk about the Inner Child and Inner Critic, these seem to be parts. 


I learned yesterday that, according to the Theory of Structural Dissociation, there are three levels of structural dissociation and what it calls Secondary Dissociation (with one "apparently normal part" or ANP and two or more "emotional parts" or EPs) is associated with the diagnoses of CPTSD, DESNOS, BPD, and DDNOS.

(Primary Dissociation - one ANP and one EP - is associated with "simple" PTSD, and Tertiary Dissociation - two or more ANPs and two or more EPs - with DID.)


To make it even more complicated, I also learned that the DSM-V changed the diagnosis of DID to make it include more of the cases that were formerly considered DDNOS, and replaced DDNOS with Other Specified Dissociative Disorder or OSDD.


If you think DDNOS/OSDD fits with your situation, you might like this article that I found yesterday. I thought it was really validating: http://www.pods-online.org.uk/didorddnos.html.

Thank you for starting this thread.

[Kizzie]

I've also seen these different "parts" referred to as "ego states" if you want to search that KL. 

[Skims]

I thought I would chime in with my experience.

I'm dx with schizoaffective and c-ptsd. Meaning a mood disorder (depression) and psychosis (hallucinations). Now with my recent psychoeducation, I'm starting to think that my hallucinations of voices and seeing people were actually sub-parts of my ego, sort of like fractured parts of me. The persecutory voice was my inner critic, there were inner children, managers, exiles, firefighters, etc... I'm not saying this is DID. I think this is my internal family, if you believe in the IFS theory. And my c-ptsd triggered it coming into my awareness and I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't cope and had a breakdown.

BTW I no longer hallucinate. I found a medication that works. This proves that I do not have DID as medication does not work for those dx with DID, or so I have read. I no longer dissociate and lose time like I used to. Although my memory is junk when I get stressed. I don't have contact with those inner children anymore just that vicious inner critic telling me I'm worthless.

[Trees]

Does anyone else here have parts or people in there head..,,.? I'm wondering if CPTSD is enough to explain my brain or if I have DID or DDnos-the thing is my parts don't completely take over and I don't lose time .

Yes, me too, Kittylover, me too.  I felt like I was full of parts of people, all grinding against each other like shards of broken china.  I felt unable to rein in all my various parts into one cohesive self.  I felt I didn't know who I would be from one moment to the next.  But I was still present, somewhere in the background, and I didn't lose time.

As you can see from all your replies, it is actually quite common.

And, for me, that feeling has faded quite a bit, with time and gentle therapy.

All the best to you as you steer your way through this stuff.           

[tiasarah]

For me, it's more like templates that I can fit myself into. For example, I have Customer Service Me. Customer Service Me is "on" when I'm working a job that requires it. I smile a lot. Everything is awesome. Unfortunately Customer Service Me doesn't deal well with verbal abuse from dissatisfied customers. When that happens, I freeze. I also have Earth Goddess Me, homemaker extraordinaire, who's making the best cream soups from scratch and searching the internet for exotic jam recipes in between hand-dyeing wool and washing out the cloth diapers. Then there's Ladylike Me, which is largely made out of the voice of my mother. Sit with your ankles crossed and sip your tea. Nobody likes a negative Nelly. Smile, we all hate it when you cry. Sit there and take it with grace. And * Me, who stomps around in combat boots and wants to build her own rifle and blow up old cars. I am all those people and a few more, but I've compartmentalized myself because people, in my experience, can't handle the whole thing. It's just too overwhelming for them to have all their expectations defied.