Hi all

[basically0kkim]

I have recently been diagnosed with Prolonged PTSD which I learned is also called  C-PTSD. I suffered physical and sexual abuse by my stepfather in my childhood. I ran from home to escape the abuse which exposed me to being raped and gang-raped. I had many miscarriages and was dismissed whenever I reported to authorities what had happened. My brother was shot at a New Years Eve party and my brother-in-law was shot a few years later at a Christmas Eve party. I spent 6 years in a violent relationship and I lived in active addiction until I had a near-death experience at 38 yrs old. After I got clean, I went on to get an AA in psychology, worked for a large company in 3 states over 10 years. Last year I was diagnosed with a benign tumor in my interior auditory canal but I also had several other unrelated symptoms. The only relief I have found from those other symptoms was by leaving my job. My doc tried a few meds but nothing worked. It even took almost two months for the sleep disturbance and diarrhea to abate. I'm grateful to have found this forum so I can see how others are able to deal with this illness. Thanks!

[Indigochild]

Hi there basically0kkim

I am glad that there is a name to what you are going through.

You have been through an awful lot and should praise yourself and love yourself the best you can right now for getting through it, and also, for getting clean.
It seems that you realise that getting clean isn't the be all and end all of your problems, and I hope you know that what you are experiencing now is not your fault.

I hope you find this forum a good place to be.
Welcome 

[basically0kkim]

Thanks for the welcome, IndigoChild! The whole mission now is to educate myself so that I can take responsibility for my recovery. There are still blanks in my memory that kind of make me wonder. As bad as the things I remember are, what would be bad enough that I'm unable to remember it? But I have found tools for dealing with other problems I have had to face, so this will be the next phase of my journey. I'm grateful that I am not alone in this disease because it was beginning to feel that way. Thanks again.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hello
I can relate to the work situation --
I too decided to put my recovery first .. I work a reduced hrs now and it is just manageable - would like to reduce further but have to be realistic with money
Welcome to the forum
I find it really helpful and safe space
Wish u all the best

[basically0kkim]

Thanks. Rose!
I had talked to my primary care doc about reduced hours when he strongly suggested I "manage" my stress. He said, "So you're going to take 8 hours of work and cram it into 4 hours and that will reduce your stress how, exactly?" I didn't actually get a diagnosis until I applied for disability and SSA required a psych evaluation. Before that my rheumatologist and my PCP thought I had depression. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and PTSD by the SSA eval in June and an independent psych eval confirmed GAD but said the PTSD was the complex type. Its really good to know that while it is "all in my head", its not a figment of my imagination or otherwise under my control. Thanks again for your kindness.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Indeed

It is stressful and I need the extra day to just 'download'

Here in the UK cptsd isn't diagnosable so no chance of benefits

Glad u getting the support

[KayFly]

Hi Basically0kkim,

I can relate to being sexually abused as a child and suffering from violent relationships/being raped in adulthood.  I was also dismissed by the authorities, due to statue of limitations, or because the state of Washington's law is if you have had a sexual relationship with someone, it's okay to rape them in their sleep...

I also have struggled with addiction for a long time. I'm only a couple months sober now, but have found lots of clarity. I am just now starting out group therapy for that, with an open mind for the first time.

It sounds like you have been through so much.  And I really commend you for continuing to pursue health    And I am also glad you can put a name to what you are facing, like IndigoChild says.

I haven't dealt with any major health problems, but I can understand how a certain amount of stress can certainly manifest into our bodies, making us very ill.  I've had digestive problems lately and I have become pretty motivated to learn about what healthy things i can do for my body, and one of the things I have recently become passionate about, is juicing, to cleanse my body of toxins.  I just did my first juice "fast" last week for just 2 days.  It's not really a fast because you are drinking nutritious juice that fills you all day....but is still a ton of work and requires machinery, etc...

Anyway! In my research I have found that there are several cases of people actually curing cancer by drinking carrot juice everyday.  More and more cases of this keep coming up.  I was really inspired by this article in particular while I was cleansing, which pertains specifically to like weight loss and the benefits of juice "fasting", but tells an incredible story of how a guy cured himself of 3 different terminal illnesses just by drinking carrot juice, when the doctors were certain he was going to die.  You can completely disregard this, or call me a nut ball, but for some reason I felt inclined to share this...

http://www.drfostersessentials.com/store/juicing.php#sthash.TE05rB8G.u3ADEHm6.dpbs

I am really happy you are here and hope you find this safe, comforting, and helpful in your process. You are really brave.