Opinions on are these emotional flashbacks?

[Dutch Uncle]

No problem Dutch. I hope it wasnt too much.

It isn't. Thanks.

Sounds like she has issues she needs to work through too.
It does sound like she is using you for supply but I'm not sure.

I'm as sure as one can be that this is the case. (but I'm aware that however close I am to my sis, in this respect I'll always be an outsider, by definition. That's OK though.)
I even think that this exactly why she used the emotional blackmail so blatantly in the end. She is loosing has lost her Narcissistic and Histrionic supply, and this was an act of desperation. This is no excuse for her, for it only shows/proofs how far she is willing to go. That she apparently does not have an 'internal brake' that tells her "This would be a bridge too far, Dutch Sister. DON'T. Whatever is happening." is actually a pretty scary realization I had.
And thus I choose NC, after quite some agonizing deliberation with myself.

Do you have a good support system? any at all?

Pretty good. But this whole mess is a drain.
What I find most agonizing is that I realize I'm in a process of 'pushing out' my dear FOO, and it's bloody hard to keep 'faith' and contact with the people who are truly dear, and care for me, unconditionally. I'm having both feet at the 'pedals', one on the break, the other on the gas. That's not the way to drive a car properly, but at the moment I have to drive that way. So at times I hit the wrong 'pedal' at the wrong instance.
But in general, my support system is 'cool'. Puzzled though, and worried as well at times. But understanding and supportive.  to them.

Yes haha, narcisists usually hate other narcissists. They trigger each other.

Yes  . It's really a competition who can create the most drama. This has been going on for ages as well. 

Thanks. 

[Dutch Uncle]

Do you have a good support system? any at all?

This morning I want to add that yesterday I went to a sort of open air jazz-festival in the canals of a city, with a very dear and long-time friend.
We had a great time, quite care free. We hadn't seen or spoken each other for some time, summer holidays and all that.

At the end of the evening he made a remark which has made me happy: "You haven't mentioned any of your FOO troubles, Uncle." And indeed I haven't, as I didn't feel the urge, I was truly enjoying my time there, then and with him.

It's a sign for me that I really am recovering, that the process is bearing fruit.

And I want to thank all of you on this site for making a big contribution to that.

[Indigochild]

Hey Dutch,
Im glad it wasnt too much.

Yes, I understand it must of been a hard realisation to come to.

Yes yes, pushing out good people, not trusting them, self protection etc. i understand.
I do hope that these supportive others can see that and still stick by you, as in, i hope they are not dumb to that.
I like your ..analagies of stuff! It can be perfect all the time. Its all about learning. I hope you know this.
I hope you dont feel alone as your support system are puzzled...sometimes we need others who truly understand. If not, i hope you find that.

[Salsera]

Both. All of it. There was one incident where I suddenly realized that my mother keeps on crossing my boundaries, that she doesn't respect me at all, and that she's constantly distancing herself from me. THAT was a shock. It all made sense in hindsight, and I realized I'd always sensed that something was off. But I'd kept on explaining it away. I kept on thinking it was MY problem - that I'd caused it and that I simply had to do things the right way to fix it. In short, that I'd simply have to keep on jumping through hoops and things would turn out well, she'd finally like me and treat me with kindness. So when that house of cards collapsed, it was hard to digest. It felt mostly like grief, like abandonment. But you see, I'm now convinced that I can only heal if and as long as I'm keeping my distance from her. So that step was VERY necessary. And it was also a great relief to find out that it wasn't just me - that I'm not THAT unlovable or incompetent.

I really relate to this. I have so many unbelievable memories (flashbacks), I cannot believe that I lived being abused for 50 years. Why didn't I question the way I was treated? It was completely abnormal. I was the obvious scapegoat. And no one protected me, or raised the issue, or came to my rescue. I can't help having flashbacks, and I can't help being in complete disbelief. As with all of you here, the stories are so incredible, I don't tell people about them because they would think I am making it up.