What do your flashbacks feel like? Part 1

[lonewolf]

This is a remarkable list. I truly believe this will be helpful to so many -- especially those of us who are new to discovering their CPTSD or who are in the process of discovering it. It brings such order and clarity to what can feel like such chaos.

[schrödinger's cat]

Thanks.    It's been very helpful for me. There are quite a few things that I never realized were all part of EFs until people pointed it out. Before that, I'd thought they were character flaws. So the EFs I have now have a lot less toxic shame attached to them. That makes it easier to start processing the old feelings that come up. It's weird when you go: "Oh look, I'm grieving! Happy day!" - but compared to EFs plus toxic shame, grieving feels great. There's something clean and whole about it, something honest.

[hugo]

This is awesome and it is very cool to see how the community built it.  I am just adding some main ones of mine.

I really, really go into self-hatred and debasement.  All or nothing thinking.  I become very quick to anger and will go into a rage.

Physically, I cannot stand to be touched and really don't even like to be talked to.  I can't stand looking anyone close to me in the eye.  I believe that is a shame thing.  When I am touched, it feels like I have sunburn.  Someone else touching me is very irritating and I will avoid it.

I dissociate.  I stare.

I thought it was just depression until I started reading all this stuff.  I used to get it so bad I would have to stay in the bed.

[Annegirl]

Hi hugo,
Thank you for sharing. I'm just wondering if you have any support or see a therapist to help you through.?

[schrödinger's cat]

Hi Hugo, thanks for your input. I incorporated it into the list. I hadn't thought of touch aversion yet, it was a very good point. I get that too, a lot. Some of it is just generalized, but I observed that it always gets a lot more acute while I'm having a flashback, or shortly afterwards.

I thought it was just depression until I started reading all this stuff.

You see, the thing is, this is just a collection of symptoms. Some items on the list probably are signs of other things too, like stress or depression or anxiety. But EFs seem to come in so many shapes and sizes, with so many different sets of symptoms, I'd thought it best to leave it to each of us to decide what exactly those list items are symptoms of. I say that just to be on the safe side. Sorry if you already knew that. Honestly, I wouldn't even be surprised anymore if it turned out that a depression might be a symptom of EFs.

Glad to hear things are better for you now than they used to be. 

[Kizzie]

Excellent thread everyone!  As we have reached our 5 page limit I am going to lock this one and "Sticky" it so that's it's at the top of this forum for easier reference. 

Please feel free to start a new thread on the topic