CBT and Relational Therapy

[Butterfly]

Thanks for posting. Very interesting.

[Badmemories]

Just a thought...I think CBT training and work helps us to work out relationships in the here and now. I think Relational Therapy helps us to deal with the feelings from the past.

[Annegirl]

Yes, I am really grateful for my therapist who I will start talking to again next month.  But she answers my emails free of charge and really goes above and beyond. As she has many clients.
When I started with her I was worries about her reaction. I thought I would have one session and that would be it but we couldn't finish because my daughter woke from her nap and my T emailed me afterwards and told me she was concerned as she knew how painful it was and we hadn't finished the thought inquiry. I was so surprised she knew it was painful for me , and this was the first time someone had validated that and I felt amazed that maybe she actually cared? But then my husband said she's paid to care..... But I like to think she actually does because one time she said she wanted to have a session with my mother if she would allow it, I thought and panicked about it all week and finally emailed her and told her that I think my mother would say yes but I wouldn't want it because she will turn my T against me. My T wrote back and said "people can't change how she thinks and loves other people and no one in the world can change her love for me and she is already well aware that my mother would lie to her about me" that helped dissipate my fear and she's never mentioned her talking to my mum ever again.
Her talking to me like this has helped so much. She also speaks to me like she already knows everything and any feelings are natural and ok and nothing scares her not even when I spoke to her that I had been suicidal and that the way she spoke to me stopped me feeling like that. She takes it like she cares but also that it doesn't make her nervous. I think this is the relational side of what she does.

[schrödinger's cat]

About the "she's paid to care" - I used to work in a bookshop, so yes, I was paid to be kind and helpful, but there were some clients where it wasn't just this professional thing we were doing. For example, we used to get sweet old ladies politely asking: "A few years ago, I bought a postcard with a sunflower on it. Do you still have that?" We had TONS of postcards. But whenever my colleague and I had time, we'd literally look at every single last one of them, knowing we probably wouldn't find it. So you get paid to do a certain level of care, but it's very possible to move beyond that because you genuinely care for someone.

[Annegirl]

Oh that is very lovely and touching what you wrote schroedingr's cat.