Hi

[Angel423]

My name is Rhonda.  I'm 58.  I've been discovering information.  I didn't know I had PTSD.  I knew I had depression, anxiety, panic attacks, couldn't leave my house anymore, and spent a few years in bed.  Life's been rough.  Seems that way for anyone in this group.  My first memories of abuse start when I was 2.  I was finally broken at the age of 33 when my daughter was victimized and I was forced to work by the perpetrator for 4 months...3 doors away.  I was in the Air Force and it was an Air Force member who did this.  She was at her friends house and they had gone to another friends house.  As well as a wealth of other stuff in-between...far to much.  All being triggered and not knowing what's happening.  My children are schizophrenic and bipolar.  My mom is bipolar.  My brother is bipolar. My sister is bipolar.  Have a lot of bipolar in my family.  I am not bipolar.  My doctor said I was sick as a result of all the abuse and PTSD.  Now I have a granddaughter who is healthy and my daughter is bipolar and narcissistic.  Family genetics are not wonderful.  I went through MST this past Jan-Apr ... and that was the best therapy I had had to date first time anything made sense.  Now I am in CPT Cognitive Processing Therapy and it is what you put into it and I am working hard.  I found your site (through FB on one of the PTSD support sites) by looking for information to better describe what I was feeling.  Sometimes there's so many thoughts in your head it's hard to identify that one but when you see it you know it.  I'm glad to have found this group.  It's late and I will look more tomorrow.  Thank you. 

[Trees]

Hi Angel423.  I am so glad you found this site.  I am a veteran, too, and only a bit older than you, but I was in the Navy.  PTSD nearly destroyed me, too, and it was the Veteran's Administration that helped me survive my years o f worst incapacity.  My own PTSD was caused by childhood abuse, but I met a lot of women at the VA who had been abused while in the service.  I am so sorry it happened to you and to your daughter!   

Glad to hear there has been help made available to you, though of course the journey is long and hard.  Please make yourself at home here on the site.  You deserve so much better in life, and I hope you find peace and safety increasing for you.  All the best to you, and big hugs.     

[tesscaline]

Hi Angel423

I'm new here too, and a bit shy, but I'm glad you found this site too

-- tess

[Dutch Uncle]

Hi Angel423 

Welcome to Out of the Storm. Quite a history you have had, with so many stress-factors around you to deal with.
I can relate to some, markedly having difficult family relations.

At OOTS, we welcome members who are dealing with CPTSD through a variety of life's events that befell us.
In the CPTSD Glossary you may find a lot the may resonate with your experiences. A few highlights to start your journey with:
On CPTSD
On Boundaries
One that has been of great value to me personally is: Learned Helplessness

We have a section on experiences with Parenting in relation to our cPTSD.
There's also an associated site to OOTS called Out of the FOG:

Out of the FOG is an information site and support group offering help to family members and loved-ones of people who suffer from personality disorders.

Since you have mentioned some mental health issues in your family, visiting that board might be of aid to you too. Even though Bipolar is not quite a Personality Disorder, you might find useful information and support there.
They do have an entry on Bipolar Disorder 'on the side', so you'll probably find information that might be of help to you.
Perhaps the Toolbox they have there may be useful in your situation as well.
Then there's a section on Parent's Discussion there as well, though there it focusses on how 'their' mental health issues affects the parent(ing). Our section focusses on how our cPTSD affects our parenting of 'them'.

No need to be very vigilant in posting what on what site, with you they are intertwined by default, I just want to point out that for yourself you may find one specific event/situation more apt for one site and another more for this.

Last but not least I want to point you to our Guidelines for All Members and Guests.

Welcome again, I hope and wish this place and community will give you comfort and be of aid on your journey through cPTSD,

Dutch Uncle.

[Angel423]

Thank you so much for all the good hints.