No Contact vs. Silent Treatment

[Dutch Uncle]

I have been agonizing over this problem for ages. Mostly unconsciously (I suppose).
Yet it has been tearing at my heart ever since I started coming out of the FOG.
And now that I'm one year into NC with my female sibling, and factually approaching the same 'status' with my female parent it keeps on tugging at my gut.
Let's call it gut-wrenching, even though better terms are around.

Today I found this article, and it explains quite well to me the difference between Silent Treatment and No Contact.
It doesn't make No Contact much easier, but it has strengthened my resolve.
This has been my take on it, from the moment I enacted No Contact, and didn't even make a contact to say I was 'going to'.
I did it, by going No Contact. Right there and then.

I thought I'd share.
For anybody who struggles with the same Guilt over going No Contact.
The Obligation to somehow remain open that you just 'intended' a Silent Treatment and actually wanted a "mend" but "just acted funny"
And the Fear that it will all backfire on your own conscience some day...

http://www.thenarcissisticpersonality.com/no-contact-silent-treatment/

[Rainydaze]

I have been agonizing over this problem for ages. Mostly unconsciously (I suppose).
Yet it has been tearing at my heart ever since I started coming out of the FOG.
And now that I'm one year into NC with my female sibling, and factually approaching the same 'status' with my female parent it keeps on tugging at my gut.
Let's call it gut-wrenching, even though better terms are around.

Today I found this article, and it explains quite well to me the difference between Silent Treatment and No Contact.
It doesn't make No Contact much easier, but it has strengthened my resolve.
This has been my take on it, from the moment I enacted No Contact, and didn't even make a contact to say I was 'going to'.
I did it, by going No Contact. Right there and then.

I thought I'd share.
For anybody who struggles with the same Guilt over going No Contact.
The Obligation to somehow remain open that you just 'intended' a Silent Treatment and actually wanted a "mend" but "just acted funny"
And the Fear that it will all backfire on your own conscience some day...

http://www.thenarcissisticpersonality.com/no-contact-silent-treatment/

Thank you for the link, it's an interesting article and covers a lot of points! If you don't mind me asking, do you ultimately feel a bit healthier for having gone no contact? I think the article's right, if you're going to do it then it has to be seen through properly with no half measures. It's amazing how we feel so much guilt over our behaviour to protect ourselves, the abuser themselves doesn't feel a fraction of it otherwise they would change.

[Dutch Uncle]

If you don't mind me asking, do you ultimately feel a bit healthier for having gone no contact?

Yes I do. Though it's been a hard won battle. I'm one year in now, and I have the feeling I'm only starting to reap (some) rewards now. These rewards though DO strengthen my resolve.

(LOL. I didn't even look at my OP, yet I do now see I said the same thing twice now.  )

[Survivor]

I really found the article helpful! I followed the link to coparenting with an N. I needed to hear that one too. It really validated the actions I'm taking right now. It felt kind of petty deciding to avoid all 'family events' that are now in full bloom BECAUSE I've gone NC and limiting interactions with my N sister to just text messages. But now I feel like my instincts were right. I'm not trying to punish her, I really am trying to not get sucked in. I've been really sweating it, having to "coparent" our elderly parents who she has used to hurt me. She think's I'm punishing her right now, but eventually she will see this is a real break. When that happens all * will break loos. Thanks for all the validation!