Never done this before- need people to evolve & adjust meds

[happy2bhere]

I have been on the journey to the new me for about 6 years after finally cracking one day - with the hypervigilance I slept about 15 minutes every 3 days. The road was super rough at first but I was blessed to have great people around me. For the last year I've continued to use my tools and deal with stress better than ever but I have been swamped with depression. I don't want to spend another year this way. I think the Klonopin has turned me into a zombie who can't feel joy anymore and it's dragging me down. I want to get off the clonopin and I am so scared that the anxiety will be overwhelming and that I will be angry all the time. Anyone's insights on which drugs work for you would be so appreciated.
I'm not a complainer - I'm sure you all understand the consequences of sticking out - and everyone around me always thinks I'm fine. I'm not but I want to be.

[foggy]

Everyone has their breaking point"finally cracking"too much load applied to an already weakened sense of self.then i hope comes the tipping point"i don't want to spend another year this way",wonderful to hear of the good people around you.cannot advise on your medication,never heard the names,do not think there  is a chemical fix for the long term,but i certainly agree that depression is a persistant and niggly "little"b@&/?*%,. none of us have arrived here by chance or choice,you are among friends

[tired]

I took melatonin and had a few nights of solid sleep for the first time in my life. I stopped taking it but found that I had less anxiety about sleep. It's like having the experience of sleeping safely for hours gave me some security. It gave me weird dreams so I stopped.

I use a fan for white noise and keep the tv on (Netflix TV shows chosen for monotony) and that drowns out any house noises that scare me.

[foggy]

my mother was a prescription junkie,grandson 8 years old prescribed melatonin{a.s.d ,diagnosed],but a few nights of "placebo juice"he went to sleep just the same,i do not believe in a long term chemical fix,we must "self heal",really difficult ,i chickened out of telling my story,but i always have the radio on[white noise]24hrs] ,i encourage you to "endeavour to perscervere ,this road will never be easy,but it is better to fail better,than to have not tried.We can always adjust our position,we are probably pretty good at that,not  particularly a good thing ,i will not be coming off fluoxetine any time soon,sort of tired,but only my very best wishes to you and everyone on this site

[tired]

I'm not a fan of medications because of the risks, not because it's a "crutch". If you have to take something because at least for now it's the best you can do, don't feel bad about it. But try to become independent of them over time

My daughter who has had trouble sleeping has done some reading on this and says she read research about sleeping in shorter spurts. The gist of it was that it may be ok not to get all your sleep in one shot if you do it right and get in all your required sleep cycles.

[Kizzie]

Hi Happy2BeHere    There's a lot to think about when it comes to medications to be sure.  By Feb 2014 I was so swamped with depression, anxiety and panic attacks, I was drinking all the time and hiding in my house, and at one point my walk-in closet to block out noise, light and so I felt safe. At the time I was using Prozac, had been for years. All it really did was help me keep my head above water.  If I had any stress I would sink into depression.  I had had a bunch of stresses pile up leading up to Feb 2014 and sunk to a very dark place.

I finally went for help and was referred to a psychiatrist who worked with me to find a med that would help control my symptoms.  Eventually we landed on Celexa and it has made a huge difference.  Within about two weeks after starting it my panic attacks stopped and my depression decreased.  In addition to the meds, therapy and talking here really helped stabilize and move forward in recovery.  I don't feel drugged or hazy or have major side effects with my meds like some people do, so for the moment I am content to take them for as long as needed to keep on functioning and recovering. 

All this is to say that if you are swamped with depression perhaps you are not quite on the right med for you so talking with your GP/T might be helpful.

Hope you are able to sort this out