Hello!

[dead]

I was directed here from out of the fog

I'm dead and I have a dad with NPD and as a result of years of abuse I have CPTSD along with a couple of other conditions.
I'll copypaste my post from out of the fog:

Firstly, I'm really glad I found this forum.

So I kind of grew up in a crucible of insanity; my dad was very abusive in multiple ways, which finally culminated with him trying to kill me. My sibling was killed when I was very young and it made my mum absolutely crazy and very difficult to reach. In my early teens I found myself homeless after we got into yet another fight about her extremely fundamental and abusive church. I was sexually assaulted multiple times during this time, but nobody wanted to help because I was running with a bad crowd.

Fast forward and my CPTSD along with bouts of anxiety and depression coupled with psychosis and episodes of cotards' are basically ruining my life. I have a good therapist and I am about to start trauma therapy but I've never felt more adrift. I have a wonderful caring boyfriend and his family have adopted me as their own, but none of it helps. I feel like I'm on a constantly sinking ship, and most days it's all I can do to bail the water out.

I'm hoping this forum will help me come to terms with some of my problems, and provide valuable insights. I also hope to connect with others who share common ground.

I look forward to meeting you all!

[mourningdove]

Hi dead,

Warm welcome to you! 

I'm so sorry that you have been in so many dreadful situations. I hope you will find this site helpful.

[Dutch Uncle]

Hi dead 

Welcome to Out of the Storm. What a frightening history you have had. No wonder you are anxious, depressed at times and struggle. 
Allow me to send me my condolences for the loss of your sibling, and of the loss of a safe environment for your yourself while young in such an awful way as well.  again.

At OOTS, we welcome people who are dealing with cPTSD through a variety of life's events that befell us. Since you have identified yourself as someone suffering from CPTSD, we'd like to point to some of the resources we have gathered here:
In the cPTSD Glossary you may find a lot that may resonate with your experiences. A few highlights to start your journey with:
On cPTSD
On Boundaries
One that has been of great value to me personally is: Learned Helplessness

Since you mentioned your mom's "extremely fundamental and abusive church" I'd like to point you to our section on Religious/Spiritual Abuse where some of us have posted our personal experiences with it, and perhaps you'll find that there are posts by people there whom you can relate to, and whom possibly could relate to yours.

Last but not least I want to point out our Guidelines for All Members and Guests to you.

I'm dead

I hope and wish this site and community will make you feel a bit less dead soon, and be of aid to you in coming alive again. 

I look forward to meeting you all!

So do I look forward to seeing you around, dead. 

Dutch Uncle.