No Contact with FOO since Christmas

[narcfree2016]

I went NC with my covert NM at Christmas.   We had been at very LC, with my mother viciously attacking me behind my back.

I had been close to one of my sisters, also a SG, and she basically told everyone about the fact that I was convinced Mom was a narcissist and the fact that I was attending CODA.

I responded by blocking every single member of my family on social media - as a result, the only two of my sisters that are not narcs have stopped speaking to me.

I feel somehow I got off easy (I felt like my NM would be more vindictive).  Also very excited about missing the GC's wedding, which would have been rife with drama.   However, since I no longer have any friends and can't afford a therapist,  I feel so alone. 

I would love to hear from someone who survived C-PTSD without family, friends, or a job. 

Thank you

[Dutch Uncle]

Hi narcfree2016 

Welcome to Out of the Storm. Congratulations on cutting contact with the narcs.  It's pretty hard to do. I can relate as I have cut contact with the two undiagnosed HPD's in my FOO, just one year earlier than you did. I only learned about Narcissists/cluster B's after I had cut them. The relationships with my father and brother have been strained since. (They are too a particular bunch, but now I know that's not surprising given the permanent drama in our FOO.) It's been a roller coaster, and the narcs have tried to wiggle their way back in, more than once, at times by using my father and brother.

I would love to hear from someone who survived C-PTSD without family, friends, or a job.

It's hard. Few friends of mine 'get it', and I should make finding a job a top-priority. But it's hard to do at the moment.
Stripping, as you mentioned in your other thread, is probably a very bad idea. I'm not particular familiar with 'the trade', but I bet it's full of narcs and other disrespectful people in there (and I'm not just referring the the customers) so you'll probably only surround you with more nastiness, right at the moment you're getting out of it.

I responded by blocking every single member of my family on social media - as a result, the only two of my sisters that are not narcs have stopped speaking to me.

Would you like to reestablish contact with them?

It's hard to go through this all alone, but many of us are in a similar situation. If possible try to meet new people or reestablish contact with old ones. However, many will not 'get it', but at least it may provide you with a nice evening out or some such. To feel appreciated and welcome.
I hope and wish this community may be a place where you can feel 'among peers' and feel a sense of 'belonging'.
I'm glad you have found us.

At OOTS, we welcome people who are dealing with cPTSD through a variety of life's events that befell us.
In the cPTSD Glossary you may find a lot that may resonate with your experiences. A few highlights to start your journey with:
On cPTSD
On Boundaries
One that has been of great value to me personally is: Learned Helplessness

And last but not least: Guidelines for All Members and Guests
Welcome again, I hope and wish this place and community will give you comfort and be of aid on your journey through cPTSD,


Dutch Uncle.

[narcfree2016]

Thank you so much for your support.

At this point I would not like to reestablish contact with my other two sisters.  They passed on info about my life to my Mother, which could be potentially harmful to me, and when I explained how I felt to the sister I was closest to, she told me that she was overreacting.  So I don't trust them.  I just miss what I thought we had.

Sometimes I feel as if I dislike enablers more than narcissists.  They should know better, and without them, no narcissist could do what they do.

[Dutch Uncle]

Thank you so much for your support.

At this point I would not like to reestablish contact with my other two sisters.  They passed on info about my life to my Mother, which could be potentially harmful to me, and when I explained how I felt to the sister I was closest to, she told me that she was overreacting.  So I don't trust them.  I just miss what I thought we had.

Sometimes I feel as if I dislike enablers more than narcissists.  They should know better, and without them, no narcissist could do what they do.

I can relate. I'd say: stick to your gut feeling. Remaining in contact with dad and bro did keep open the backdoor for my uHPD 'mom' and 'sis', and I dare say bro and dad have tried to enable them. Or have been lured in the enabler-trap. Which in essence, in it's results, is the same thing really.
I fully understand your frustration about the enablers being worse. Again, I can relate.

Trust is a very important part of the 'equation'. And as the enablers have acted untrustworthy, my trust in them has taken a dive. Perhaps I'll cut contact with them at some point in the future as well. I couldn't do all at once like you did.

I hope and wish you'll meet trustworthy people in the not-so-far future. Until then: better safe than sorry, or "safety first".