Restraining Order

[artemis23]

This post has been removed.

[Three Roses]

Wow! Good for you!      You sure have found a lot of strength and courage!  Way to go artemis23

[LanaBanana]

Artemis23, your story really resonated with me, I am so sorry you had to go through that 

You are doing a great thing by getting a restraining order and standing up for yourself and I think that is so brave of you 
You alone know what's best for you. I know that feeling you have of second guessing yourself and feeling guilty that you might be hurting him by getting a restraining order. But do not downplay your own pain in this. Your pain is valid and deserves to be recognized. He has consistently hurt you, terrorized you, jeopardized your safety and well-being, and caused you so much pain. Filing a restraining order is for your own safety and well-being, it is not "ruining his life". You deserve to keep yourself safe from this person, and you deserve all the love and support and understanding you need to get through this. What you are doing is incredibly strong. Standing up for yourself, facing your abuser and your trauma head-on, and re-visiting your trauma in front of strangers is unbelievably brave. You have gone through * and you're still here, and you've taken steps to heal. That is amazing in itself! 

I hope you go through this process with compassion for yourself, and I hope you surround yourself with people who understand what you're going through and support and validate you through this. Unfortunately, society can be cruel towards people who've gone through abuse and trauma, and can cause us more suffering and re-victimization. Be kind to yourself through this, this is a hard process, don't forget to tend to your own needs and allow yourself to heal.

Lastly, I just want to add, as someone who has gone through an abusive relationship that sounds very much like this one, this really touched me. Thank you for being so brave, I really feel deeply for you. The psychological, emotional and sexual trauma you've gone through really hits close to home for me. I know that both our experiences are different, but I understand what you're going through, you are not alone in this. I know how it feels to second-guess yourself, to piece back the shattered pieces of your memories and constantly question yourself. Your pain and your trauma are real. Your well-being matters. You matter.

I hope this helped a bit, I am sending you a lot of hugs for going through this