Emotional abuse by wife.

[1StillInTheDarkness]

I'm 65, my wife 70.  She's been emotionally/verbally abusive all the years we've been together. She came from a large, emotionally dysfunctional family where there was also alcohol addiction and she has that, too.  Married 20 years, lived together 3.  No children.  I am also on OOTF but I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD and started on Prazosin for sleep problems, as well as to reduce anxiety, irritability, anger and intrusive thoughts.  It's working.  I also have treatment resistant ultra rapid cycling bipolar.   Lost my sexual function several years ago, which I've been told is a symptom of the abuse.

I need to get out of this marriage but holding a job with severe bipolar is daunting, to say the least.  My wife is prone to horrendous emotional meltdowns when she feels afraid that I might leave her.  She reverts to being the nine year old whose mother died and her world was blown apart.  All I feel is sorry for her.   I would love to love her and protect her,  but she has hurt me in ways that I never thought I could be hurt by someone who professed, and still professes, to love me.   She has all the money and owns the house and a vacation condo.  I'm not suicidal, but I definitely feel trapped and hopeless.

[Butterfly]

Just wanted to add a warm welcome to you and hope that the website resources and support forum here can help. Please check the glossary, some of the information there links back to out of the fog but some of the research is specific to hear on out of the storm. Some of the sub boards of different ways to cope with some of the different symptoms of cPTSD. Since you're out of the fog I'm sure you're well aware of the toolbox and some of the ways to disconnect from the abuse in a healthy way such as boundaries and medium chill.

[MidnightOwl]

Hi Still,

It does sound understandably difficult for you. The CPTSD diagnosis can shed light on a whole host of other "issues" that really are just part of CPTSD. For example, I was treated for anxiety and depression for years that have become far more manageable the more work I do to resolve CPTSD. Have you read Paul Walker's book on the subject?

It's challenging when we feel obligated to our spouses/SOs/partners due to their own struggles with mental health, but ultimately no one is responsible for any one else's behavior, and it's not fair for others to expect that.

[Rhino Warrior]

It's that experience of feeling 'trapped' and 'hopeless' that can cause the cptsd. Not sure medication alone will resolve that part.

[JohnnyBoy]

Just wanted to say I know your pain, 10 yrs, she has been verbally, emotionally , and at times physically abusive. kI know the feeling of being trapped and hopeless, I truly hope you can find some comfort. Peace be with you.