Not feeling well

[LanaBanana]

Hey all,

I'm sorry for not posting on here these past couple of days, there are a lot of topics that I haven't read. I haven't been feeling very well and I don't know what to do.  I haven't been able to eat, any food I eat tastes bland and I feel nauseous. I'm really tired and worn down right now and I don't trust anyone to help me through it. My T is currently off for the summer, and I've scheduled a meeting for next week with another T, but I'm pretty ambivalent about it. I don't know how to get through the week, let alone a day, and I'm really frustrated with this whole recovery process. If anyone has any thoughts, it would be very much appreciated. 

Thank you for reading, I'm sorry for the rant.

[Three Roses]

 

I'm so sorry that you are not feeling well! I was wondering about you earlier this morning.

I have a ton of compassion for you! Maybe you don't feel you have much will to live, but just reaching out for help/reassurance shows you have some. Keep posting here, we care!

[LanaBanana]

Thank you Three Roses!   

[Kizzie]

Sorry to hear that you have been having such a difficult time   Many of us have been where you are.  About this time two years ago I was in much the same place, reached out and with help of my doctor, a psychiatrist and my FOC pulled out of a downward spiral. 

Perhaps it's time to call that other therapist rather than wait? There's nothing like a real human being, especially one who is a professional and trained to help in situations like this.  We also have crisis numbers under "Resources" at the top of the page. 

Sending you as big and warm a hug as I possibly can over the internet.    

Kizzie

[LanaBanana]

Thank you Kizzie! 

I'm seeing a therapist next week, but I have problems trusting people too. Some of it comes from my C-PTSD and some of it comes from being turned down by a lot of people when I needed help, so it's really hard for me to reach out when I don't feel well.

Thank you for the resources! 

[arpy1]

sending you a  LanaBanana, just cos u need one  hope you will feel a bit better today. it's good to post and i notice that like me you tend to feel guilty for asking for support.  it's so hard isn't it? yet when i read your posts i have no difficulty in wanting to reassure you that it's fine to ask.  praps if we all tell each other that, we will slowly get it into our own heads too?? !! anyway, thinking of you, LanaB 

[LanaBanana]

Thank you so much Arpy1!!   

I've had to deal with my problems mostly alone for my whole life, so it's really hard for me to ask for help. I feel like I don't want to burden anyone with them, they are pretty hard to carry and no one should have to deal with them for me. Thank you for being there though, you and everyone else, it really helps! 

I am feeling better for now, I was able to eat and I feel a lot calmer 
Thank you!! 

[Kizzie]

I am happy to hear that you are able to eat and feel calmer Lana   

It's no wonder so many of us struggle to trust and to reach out for help given what we've been through.  It took my being in the darkest place I have ever been to finally cry "Uncle" so I understand how difficult it can be.  I think Arpy is spot on suggesting that maybe if we reassure each other enough we can begin to replace those beliefs borne from a childhood of trauma that we can't trust anyone, that no-one will help us (because then it was true). 

Glad you reached out here 

[woodsgnome]

Lanabanana:  "I am feeling better for now"

                                     

[LanaBanana]

Thank you all so much for the support! It really means a lot!   

It feels good to be among people who understand the feeling of not being able to trust others. I tend to retreat to solitude when I don't feel well, and it usually leads to a self-perpetuating cycle. Thank you all for your understanding 

[The Moon Hare]

Trust ? whats that ..... yes i have a hard time trusting.

As regards food when I have trouble eating I drink a diet protein drink and that keeps me going, not sure if it would help but it does for me as I am a very picky eater 

[Contessa]

I think its safe to say you're preaching to the choir LanaBanana, but keep doing it. Definitely know how you have been feeling, and relieved that you are feeling better. Big hugs.