Zen_Racer's Recovery Journal

[Hope67]

Hi Zen_Racer,
My sincere condolences on the death of your friend.  Also, sorry to hear that your other recent friendship ended last week. 

I think you did well to write these things, and sending you a supportive hug -  - you are dealing with a lot of things - I hope that you can find some rest and recuperation on the weekend and time to process things as and when you want/feel able to. 

[NarcKiddo]

I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your friend. Also about the ending of another friendship and the one that is feeling toxic. That's a lot to handle at all, let alone in a short space of time. Plus a change of T.

You are dealing with a lot, ZR, and I hope you are finding ways to be kind to yourself and take whatever rest you need.

 

[zen_racer]

Thank you Hope and NK.  I finally got enough sleep, and I'm feeling a little better.  I know that none of these things are destroying my life.  I'm trying to remind myself that it's okay to be overwhelmed when things pile up like this.  I do wish I hadn't gotten those memories back though.  I guess I at least now know why I felt like I deserved to feel so bad.  Big surprise, it was something that wasn't my fault and I didn't deserve, and my M used as an excuse to attack me and tell me how horrible of a person I was.

I'm guessing that's the type of memory that would be a good target for emdr therapy.

The weather here is supposed to be rainy and yucky all weekend, so I'm planning on spending a fair bit of time attempting more grounding work, processing, and spending less time with screens and more time either doing house work or reading.

Thank you again.  Hugs for both of you.    

[TheBigBlue]

  ,    and support.