Miscellaneous ramblings of NarcKiddo

[Hope67]

Hi NarcKiddo,
I wanted to sit beside you and commiserate about the things you mentioned here - but I also wanted to congratulate you on all the preparation, gathering information, asking questions, and generally advocating for yourself, as that takes a lot to do that - and I think you did it really well.  I'm glad there were some things you can work on with your coach, even thought those may seem small, hopefully they will be beneficial.  Sending you a hug of support 

[HannahOne]

NarcKiddo, reading about your cabbage M and pivoting F made me feel sad, as you are worthy of serious consideration, a hearing out, and support. "ask for help and don't get it" is such a CPTSD theme song. I'm so sorry it's playing again in this situation.

I was impressed by how you advocated for yourself, worked through the process, organized and collated a lot of information. No cabbage/pivot there. You parented yourself through the whole thing.

 And you're already organizing around what you can do next, even if that means just keep doing what you're doing, process this information, and accepting. I hope you do get to process with your T and feel whatever feelings kid and teenNK, and adult NK may have. All the feels are valid and certainly make sense in this situation. I wish there had been a clear answer at the end of all of this that could improve your situation, and I'm sorry it didn't turn out that way.  It sucks.

[dollyvee]

The whole experience felt so much like everything else - ask for help and don't get it. Work out what to do yourself. I know that's not entirely fair but that's how it feels emotionally.

I'm sorry it didn't work out NK 

I'm sure there's an answer in there somewhere. Maybe not on that track, but another one out there. For me, I would try and look for past case histories of people with similar reactions if they've had them, and build out from there about methods that worked, whatever they were. Though it's likely you've already done that.