Hope's Journal 2026

[NarcKiddo]

I'm glad you had an enjoyable day, and that you were moved to come and record that here. Good for you. 

[Hope67]

Blueberry, Hannah, Dolly and NarcKiddo,
Thank you all so much 

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22nd October 2026
Today I am looking forward to some time to myself and the opportunity to have a foot spa at home.  It's not a big thing, just soaking my feet for about 15 minutes and doing my own kind of pedicure and then a nice lotion.  I am also going to watch something on TV at the same time.  I feel like it's a decadent thing, but I am giving myself more 'treats' in each day, and that is one of them!

I was also looking through old photographs yesterday, as a friend wanted me to look for something, and I felt like I could process things differently when I saw photos of FOO amongst the ones with friends.  I wrote some notes - things like how old I was at particular times, and how I looked in the photos - there are some where I look quite ill.  Others where I look more healthy, and I can relate to the different things going on at the time.  But previously I would have looked at them with a different perspective, and I really think that I'm more regulated now, and can see things a bit more clearly!   It didn't feel upsetting to see them either - it was more like I was able to look at it with a more detached lens, if that makes sense.

I've decided that I like this time of year - with the leaves changing colour.  Someone wrote about enjoying gardening in the light rain, and I felt like I was there too - infact, I think I might go into my own garden today and maybe look at it with fresh eyes!  But I am going to concentrate on my foot bath/spa first as I'm really looking forward to it.

[HannahOne]

I love the idea of a foot spa! You've inspired me to set one up. My and my kids would all enjoy doing it together.

I'm glad you could look at old photos of Foo and find yourself processing things in a different, maybe more grounded way it sounds like.

[Hope67]

 Thanks Hannah, and I hope you enjoy your foot spa with your kids.  I actually discovered there are little 'foot spa fizzies' and I bought a packet of them, and used one (it contained magnesium and arnica I think) - it was lovely!  I think they might have been called foot spa bombs - like the ones you have in a bath, but much smaller!  Anyway, it was lovely. 

[HannahOne]

Magnesium is so wonderful for me in a bath, I will try it in the footpath! 

[Hope67]

 

[Hope67]

3rd November 2026
I hadn't been sleeping all that well for the past couple of weeks - but thankfully I have had a good couple of nights in the past couple of days - so I feel better for that.

I had undertaken some creative projects which seem to have taken over my life for the past couple of weeks, and I realise that's why my brain couldn't switch off at night - it was like exiled parts of me had woken up and were so happy to be breathing, working, doing, etc etc.

I literally think that when I stopped my career, that parts of me shut down and went into exile, and I was left with some very abandoned younger and child parts who needed help - I spent some years trying to support them and nurture them, and I do feel I was okay at that - because I feel like those parts are happier and feel looked after. 

But creative parts, they were blocked and stifled and couldn't contribute to my life.

However, I do feel like I can finally allow those parts to begin to blossom and thrive, and I think it's unsettling to some other parts - BUT - overall, it's a good and positive feeling for my entire system.

I literally had some experiences at night in the past fortnight where I had figures approaching me in the night - like they were moving quickly towards me, and I woke my partner up as I reacted to them.  I'm not sure they were as bad as the previous situations where sometimes I had feared that they were going to hurt me - they were just figures moving quickly.

But the last couple of nights, I feel calmer and have slept about 7 hours.  I'd like to aim for 7.5 hours.  I was sleeping just 5 hours for a couple of weeks before that.  Not enough sleep!

Anyway, glad to have written this.