hopeful for progress

[Blueberry]

Wise choice on not eating no-sugar ice cream at this stage san.

[sanmagic7]

my darling friends, i can't thank you enough for all the well wishes and continuing support.  it is now 1 week w/o sugar.  yay!!!

ZR, best to you when you decide to quit smoking.  that one's my worst.  i've quit for 15 yrs. once, 5 yrs. another time, nearly 2 yrs. and on and on.  currently i still have about 2 a week - they really help me w/ stress, even tho they hurt me in every other way.  but, there's always hope, and i've got a lot of hope for you.  and thanks again for the love and the hugs. 

thank you hope for your ongoing encouragement and support.  much appreciated.

hannah1 - i love the solidarity!  thank you for that. 

blueberry, i really appreciate the validation on the no-sugar ice cream.  from other addiction experience, too close means several steps closer to the edge, and that's harder to pull back from, and ultimately fails for me.  thanks for all your support.

well, it's been a week, sugar free.  i've been getting some major anxiety attacks the past 2 nites, very close to panic, actually, and i'm wondering if there might be a bit of withdrawal going on.  i wouldn't be surprised.  but, i'll keep riding this wave, keep letting the bus go by. 

no therapy yesterday - my T got in a car accident.  so, looking forward to next week.  she was willing to take me on later yesterday, but i told her she's got plenty of bull **** to deal w/, i'm ok for another week, and she laughed, we laughed together, and she said it felt good to do that.  so, it ended well, but i'm sure she's pretty sore today. 

[zen_racer]

Oh, sorry if my post was ambiguous.  I quit smoking in 2008.  It stuck.  I don't even consider it as an option.  Just like you'll eventually get to with sugar.  You're doing so great so far!

Glad you were able to handle it well when therapy got cancelled yesterday.  That did seem like a good way to handle it.

Sending love and hugs. 

[HannahOne]

     A week without sugar!
I personally found that my gut biome changed and I did experience kinds of "withdrawals," I think it was the die off of bacteria and yeast in my guts. And I too had to avoid non sugar treats because they were quite triggering. What really helped was avoiding all sweetness eventually changed my taste buds, within about 4-6 weeks just an apple seemed very sweet to me. Another benefit to avoiding no-sugar sweets.

So sorry your therapist got in an accident. Glad you can see them soon!

[sanmagic7]

congrats to you, ZR, on quitting smoking!  that's amazing!  and thanks, as always, for the love and hugs. 

hey, hannah1, i don't doubt there will be a lot of physical changes inside me w/o sugar.  so, i'll keep going.  thanks for the encouragement. 

i had a terrible EF/dissociation last sat.  it was pretty much the gray lady 'enduring' - i could feel her.  but i got thru it.  still, that kind of thing takes an emotional toll on me.  then, tues. was the lack of therapy.  more emotional kickback, cuz i wanted to discuss the sat. situation w/ her.  then, yesterday my computer simply stopped.  that frizzed me out completely, and i was a wreck all day, even tho my D drove me to the store to get a new one (all the money!), and we were able to pick it up today, but i became 'paralyzed' for about an hour before we could take it in, get the new one, and decide what needed to be transferred, etc.  from the old to the new.

that 'paralization' is something i haven't experienced in a while, but it was there in all its glory - i sat in my chair, waiting for the time to be able to go to the store, nothing interested me, watched tv for about 10 minutes, couldn't follow what they were saying.  thankfully, my galpal called me, and i was able to talk to her about it for about 15 min.  that helped snap me out of it, but i was just sitting, couldn't read, stared out the window at nothing. 

extra meds, cuz i was vibrating inside.  it's amazing to me how much i am not able to manage personally anymore.  something goes haywire and it's like all my circuits freeze.  i got it back this morning, and it's restoring some order again for things like this, but honestly, i don't know what's happening to me.  it is too often seeming like i'm feeling worse rather than better - and i've gone thru this for 30 yrs. at least.  i had 2 good months this year, replaced by 2 bad months which are now extending into a third month of feeling crappy.  barely keeping my head above water, but being here for my D helps with that.  it's just so sould-sucking.