Zen_Racer's Recovery Journal

[HannahOne]

If my M or B called me.... that would be a trigger. It is totally understandable that those calls/texts derailed what you wanted for yourself. And you can set boundaries now that work for you, whether that be silencing the phone, blocking those numbers and unblocking them once every 24 hours to check in on your terms (or once a year, LOL, or never)....

[zen_racer]

Yep. A few years ago that was my situation too. I live in a safe house with a safe husband and I had no idea at all. Until you've felt it it's impossible to imagine so don't beat yourself up about that. It's also kind of hard to work towards something you have no idea about, but working on how you feel and calming your emotional reactions and supporting yourself through triggers and interacting with safe people will get you there.

Thank you, especially for this part.  I wasn't necessarily feeling bad about not knowing, but it is certainly helpful that I'm not alone or spectacularly deficient in that.  I am mostly in a safe house, I live alone in a house too big that feels empty, but in the middle of 8 acres of woods.  Aside from wildlife, it's pretty serene usually.  And honestly, the only safe person I have in my life is my ex-wife. We've been texting a fair bit since last night.

I appreciate that you're pointing out to speak up if I want space, and I'll keep that in mind, but so far the input I've gotten here has been incredibly helpful.  Even the few times (not specifically you) when I think my situation has been a little different, it still gives me perspective and shows me that everyone here does care.  I think that's something I've needed more than I knew.