what's next recovery journal

[NarcKiddo]

I'm sorry you're struggling with sweats. I had a couple of years of dealing with really nasty drenching night sweats - in my case due to menopause issues. I found it more comfortable to sleep in light long-sleeved cotton jersey or bamboo PJs and have spares by the bedside to change quickly into fresh. I hated the thought of turning over the pillow and letting the sweat leach into the sheet below so I kept spare pillows around so I could throw the wet pillow on the floor and grab a dry one. I also at times slept on a bath towel so when I woke up with that all wet I could throw it off and have a dry sheet underneath - or just swap it out for another bath towel. It is very tiresome to deal with but in terms of not disrupting sleep too much I found it useful to have all these things easy to grab so I could make any changes with minimal wakefulness.

I hope you feel better soon. The illness cannot be helping.

[WhatsNext]

Hi NarcoKiddo

Thank you for the well wishes.  The sweats that got to the point of disrupting sleep came in about 6 days ago.  Before then I would have sweated but usually I would sleep through the night and only notice the sweat in passing when I woke up. 

I tried all kinds of things until I ended up with being in my skivvies with a flat sheet. 100% cotton in a percale weave. I was at a point where something needed to be different so I could get enough sleep.   I'd had to shut off the AC vent as well since that cold air when I'm in a sweat seems freezing at the time.  and currently I've very sensitive to the temps of what I drink / eat.  Which does support my concept that the stress hormones and long term effects negatively impact every single system the human body has and as the body attempts to recover weird things happen. With the exclusion of menopause / andropause.  I also think that the negative effects from the high allostatic load can also influence the system to where chronic conditions can become prevalent.  Like in my case of non-structural hypertension. Yep the unremitting level of crapola and the body adjusted to operate at a higher set point. 

The being under the weather hasn't gotten worse thank goodness, some small improvements in longer periods where the nose is clearer / clear.  Less coughs over all. 

Until another time.

[WhatsNext]

Update on the sleeping situation.  Was able to get a solid 7 with 0 the sweats    woke chilled but not clammy, no sweat trying to evap.  I wonder if my current feeling of being chilled has something related to not having some food on my stomach?  Hm..

Did get some stream of consciousness writing done today as well.  I'm still shocked at times at the sheer amount of processes? thought threads? something that are running under the surface.  Somewhere in there I've done some work taking a look at the dynamics of the person in the role of father in the adoptive family.  He was my Dad.  He was fully human.  saint and sinner in one package.  just like all of us humans.  I know a lot of his history and I can "see" how he ended up as the person he was when I knew him.  He had a lot of enabling going on.  I don't know if that was inherent or if it was from the death of 10,000 paper cuts that happens sometimes in marriages.  Taking myself as an example.  There is sadness around him, he had some intense challenges in his life even as a child with the death of his mother, Father couldn't? keep the farm going so,  then riding the rails seeking work, being taken in as a foundling, and serving in WW2 and supposedly he saw action.  What I remember on the good side is that he saw me, the only adult at the time that was honest enough to tell a child that they didn't know about something and that I should look it up or figure it out and tell him.  His exit point was 45 years ago.  Terrible traffic accident.  So terrible that the service was closed casket.  I still miss the physical of him.


I'm uncertain with the level of sovereignty that I currently have.  I still do the work thing but outside of that constraint .. there appears to be a lot of possible choices that really aren't "big" like changing jobs. 

I think I'm going to take me a morning walk so I can get some morning sunshine. 

Until another time. 

[WhatsNext]

walk was good, got some practice in on composition with the mobile devices camera.  I have a film camera that I take out regularly and that is a totally different kettle of fish.  It forces me to slow down, to really look, and to attempt to get the best shot I can.  Like back in the day you'd send in film for developing and get the negatives and the prints back, I still do that.  I'm not bad for an amateur phototog.  Well I have people that I trust tell me I'm pretty good so I believe them. 

Ran across the Human Garage.  Pretty amazing stuff. has tons of YT videos and a website.  I think I'll do the YT videos and see how it all feels.  The premise is solid.  That fascia is like the one part that hold everything together and lots of nerve endings, and since I have experienced fascia getting able to move better and how much that helped not just the physical but emotional / mental aspects?  Worth a shot I figure. 

until another time.

[WhatsNext]

The sweats returned.  Along with a lot of old situations where I screwed up. Things that have been under the bridge for decades.   I'm not that same cat anymore so why?  Last night was rough.  Went to bed at the usual time I need to for when I have work and the first two hours where not good. Then the pattern of getting to sleep, things warming up, the sweats hitting, waking up to move to a different location on the bed, trying to go back to sleep.  And I did good yesterday with physical exertion which typically helps the sleep to happen.  Between the walk, the shopping, house hold stuff, total amount walked was a tickle under 4 miles.  And I've noticed that my attention is far more apt to wander than previously.  Then again my attention shifts to things in the real world.  Possible that the body is attempting to recover it's inner felt connections to reality?  I'm still thinking that it's a temp set point shift from being in recovery from a high allostatic load situation. 

It's the crappy sleep that gets me.  Lots of times that's happened in the past. 

Until another time.

[WhatsNext]

my google-fu has returned!  Have no idea where it went before.  Basically I've confirmed that the temp set point is changing because all the hardware is changing back to more of a base line configuration.  Along with that there will be food preferences changing, attention span changes, weight changes ( losing the cortisol belly ) general feelings of anxiety that will come and go ..

The more I learn about how damaging that period of time was due to the situation.. Man, I got out alive by the skin of my teeth.  2 to 3 years for the prefrontal cortex recovery?  Several months of possible hot flashes / night sweats.  I've been through some physically intense accidents and if the time line is accurate of two to three years surviving what I did is going to have one of the longest time frames until base line is returned to? 

I'm thinking I need to go have a cuppa herbal tea that has l-theanine in it.  Maybe a couple of them so that way the anxiety feelings when I'm having a night sweat doesn't hit as hard.  And the sweat has already started.  Supposedly when everything is done I'll be comfy around 73 - 75 degrees.  Will see. 

until another time

[NarcKiddo]

I'm sorry the sweats are being so persistent and mucking up your sleep. Poor sleep just makes everything so much harder.

[WhatsNext]

I'm sorry the sweats are being so persistent and mucking up your sleep. Poor sleep just makes everything so much harder.

Hi NK.  Actually last night was decent, thank goodness!  7 hours solid before the bladder decided for me. Have no clue what triggered it.  Weren't full at all. Laid back down and got about 1.5 hour of the intentional resting without any of the old crap or sweats or anxiety. When I did get up I was a lil chilled not bad. 

 l-theanine is definitely something to look into. It does take the edge off.  For me even at a low dose of 50mg via herbal tea. And I'm not a small feller either.  Something for the toolbox maybe. 

Did do a ritual last night.  Had a pyre and burned a copy of the former spouses death certificate.  Drive home the point that it is completely over and it's cool to start healing.  Did experience a "shift".  Can't qualify / quantify / label it. 

Until another time