Marcine’s journaling forward

[sanmagic7]

never mess with a momma bear, indeed!, marcine.  well done!  you gave your son some precious gifts in doing what you did - his sense of safety, protection, trust, confidence, knowing he's not alone, and you modeled for him what's appropriate anger in such a situation so he'll know how to do it for himself in the future.

no, never got any of that, never was allowed any of that, and also got the worst end of it throughout my life when i did get angry at someone.  but my girls knew and to this day, on my mother's day card from my daughter, she mentioned how she still feels protected cuz of me.  and she's 45.  so, this kind of thing has lasting reverberations for our children.  you absolutely deserve to be proud for what you did.  and i'm proud for you, and i wouldn't doubt your son is, too.  love and hugs    

[Marcine]

Thanks, friends, for your insights and support. I woke up today feeling on the verge of overwhelm from yesterday, hearing the Siren call of self-blame and veering towards the familiar ruts of self-rejection and rumination...

Then I read your responses and this peculiar thing is happening... I feel human, seen, AND safe, connected...

Zenracer, I know that fear of letting go of tugging desperately on the kite string and of stopping running... there may be a crash and burn. There may be a strange relief in the brave, new world that you get to explore on your terms.

I feel your love, TheBigBlue. Thank you!

San, that Mother's Day message from your daughter is precious. Isn't it incredible and miraculous that we are able somehow to give our kids what we didn't receive? That we can give the unconditional love, the fierce protection, the permission for expressing the wide range of human emotions... that we never got as children.

It inspires me to continue the journey of giving those to myself.

Love to all of us.