what's next recovery journal

[WhatsNext]

Another night that wasn't bad.  I'll take what I can get you know? 

Lots of emotions rolling, boiling, while it helps to know that they will decrease over time it still kinda sucks when it happens.  Crying jags this AM.  Got to a point where I stopped my version of the morning pages.  The accounting continues it seems.  Got lots of stuff done today.  Need to put laundry up but completed the yard work, got the first half of the monthly obligations done. Got through more stuff sorting for keep / donate.  I don't know why but it's something that I need to do now.  I know someone who has been through something similar and they said that every time they made progress on healing, the sorting, the changing up of the energy of the residence.   

Went through some journals from about a decade ago.  The person I was then.  Still engaged, still trying, still giving it the all to make things work with the spouse.  I really feel for that poor fella.  For lack of a better term, the energy of them was not good so I decided I was going to burn them and bury the ashes. Had a little ritual with the burning and the burying.  The subconscious really likes rituals, pomp and circumstance, and since it is always on, always doing something, it's something I think that needs to be considered when it comes to health and wellness.

The journals did spark a memory of where I was on my spiritual path.  I need to revisit that on a deeper basis going forward. 

I think I shall shower sometime today and then trim up my hair / face tomorrow.

Until another time. 

[WhatsNext]

Last night wasn't bad. Comparatively speaking.  Yesterday was good as well.  Got lots did.  Feel good about that.  Went on a meander today.  Lots of grief coming out.  Which is cool since I'm not at work. need to meal prep some, gonna try a air fryer cooked baked potato.  40 minutes at 400 is what I found. 

I've tried naming areas and that seemed to help some?  Very odd thing, I'll be in the middle of something and then wham the crying jag hits.  Need to do dishes as well. 

I caught myself smiling more.  natural occurrences.  I guess my emotional responses are thawing. 

Until another time.