This is short i promise- Confused about friends actions

[Sienna]

Would anyone mind replying to let me know what you think is happening here?

When narc X put my stuff into bin bags and told me to come and get them, after i ran away to a friends place for the night after he broke my trust (wont go into what happened),
a friend said that she would go back to the house with me and pick them up, as she had a van.
She works for this guy so goes round his house a lot, so she stored them there, as there was no room at her place.


I have been at the women's refuge for longer than i thought i would be, and i asked her if i could have some of my winter clothes from her place where all my things are stored.
She said yes.
Today she text me and said that she will drop all of my stuff at refuge tomorrow morning.
She is not going to be staying round at this guys place that she cares for that much anymore, as her job is coming to an end soon,
so I'm wondering why she can't leave some of my stuff there still, as she can still go back to see him the said and she is having christmas with him.

She said she needs the space in her room at his guys place, and i just wish she had told me sooner.
My feelings are, that, she said she will keep my stuff for me at this guys place,
and now she is saying that she will just give all of it back to me...she knows i don't have the room in my room at refuge.
So, it feels that, she has just decided that she doesnt want to store it at his anymore...
and she is going to drop it off at my door tomorrow morning.

I feel really anxious and kind of..panicky today.
maybe its a flashback to the many times my (narc) X with out warning, dropped my stuff off at my mums, and to the last time he completely threw all of my stuff out after i ran away that night.

We havent been close- this friend and me.
It was because of a text, and of course, my T wont tell me if i mis-read her text.
I felt that she was on my X's side after all and i felt totally let down by her.
I also don't now how to have a friendship, and she was open about her stuff with me, but my counter dependancy was at play big time, and i realised for the first time, that I'm terrified of even being close with *friends*.
So, i pushed her away, and distanced myself from her.

Maybe i deserve what she is doing , i don't know. I just got scared and i wish i could ask her about what happened, and i wish i could be honest with her and tell her i freaked out. I nearly did the other day, but the words never came out and i froze.

[Dutch Uncle]

So tough this is happening to you. 

It's hard to tell from this distance, but it all could be not as bad as you think.
As I understand she is your friend and he is hers. So your stuff is now at somebody's place you hardly know and/or have a connection with.
Perhaps he just want your stuff out of his house, and has been nagging her about it for some time now. Your request might have been a trigger for him (upon having heard about it) to say to your friend: "Well, let's get it all out, it's been here for too long already." Possibly your friend had told him it would be at his place for much shorter than it currently is, as you say your staying longer at the shelter than expected.

Can the shelter provide some storage for your stuff outside the actual place you are staying in?
Or do you have other friends with a garage or garden shed or something?

Wishing you well,

Dutch.

[Sienna]

Thanks Dutch for your reply and for helping me to think of things a little differently regarding this.

It could be that he said something. And yes, maybe she is uncomfortable with my stuff being there when she wont be anymore.

She text and said that i have been distant with her for weeks, and that i have been acting very oddly, is everting ok?
I said it wasnt and that i wanted to talk to her about it the other day..so i will find out what is going on if i can have that talk with her.
T said that i seem to have gone back to a place where I'm completely alone, where their is no fear and everything is safe.

of course, I'm afraid she will lie and not be honest like X did and its scary to be honest and open.

I will have to explain that I'm sorry to this guy when he turns up with her tomorrow, for my stuff being at his for so long, and i would always thank him.

I dont have any friends anymore. Thanks for the suggestion.
maybe the shelter can put it in their office. hopefully i can fit it.
I think i was more hurt than anything, as i thought she was saying, I'm tired of keeping your stutff- have it back- and that to me is another let down...and it was sudden that she said that to me, and i wondered why she didnt tell me sooner.
Maybe its cos she's not going to be at his for work soon.
Thanks Dutch. I really appreciate your thoughts, and i hope you are well too.