Going outside.

[Sesame]

Sienna, thanks for the compliment!

I also have to force myself a bit to socialise. I notice I do have a tendency to shut myself away and not leave the comfort zone of being alone. Having a more outgoing friend always helps me because I feel more comfortable in the presence of at least one friend and, with them being outgoing, I can get introduced to more people. Forced to socialise a bit more and get to feel like this is normal and not nerve-wracking at all.

[Sienna]

No worries Sesame! I meant it, its cute!
I do like Sesame! It reminds me of the OC, where, when Kirstan buys Sandy bagels, he says, ummm, Sesame!

Yes, yes, i understand and i do that too. People are so triggering to me that i often stayed at home when i lived with X. We will see how my future plays out with out him.
I am scared of people and i do stay in my room, too anxiety ridden to leave (at the refuge)
Its really hard and I'm sorry you struggle.
Outgoing friend- yup. With X , he was louder and more outgoing than me, so i could hide behind him, but i would get frustrated with that as it felt like i couldnt be heard.

It makes sense i think that we would be scared of people. They say social anxiety is fear of people, otherwise it wouldnt be *social* anxiety.
I hope you can continue to make steps to meeting new other people and maybe feeling more comfortable. Meeting others is hard for me too.
And also, not being comfortuble being myself with others, dont know about you, but i dont connect with others well and i had self absorbed friends.
and it puts a strain on me to socialise as i am fake and not *me*.

I guess a lot of work has to be done- for me anyway...maybe you feel the same.
as being more authentic and confident may help.
You are brave, and doing so well at doing this you know. 

[Sesame]

Is the OC an American show? I'm not from the US, so not sure what it is!

My H is also a very loud and dominant person, but he's doing his best to encourage me and watch himself; sometimes he gets too excited and interrupts me, which stops me dead in my tracks! Not too helpful if I want to become more comfortable socialising. But he has been extremely supportive and understanding during my ongoing healing.

I have made a lot of progress and continue to do so. I hope you're able to do the same! It feels great to have a social success where I didn't feel awkward, embarrassed or too nervous.

I relate so much to what you said about being yourself! It takes me YEARS of knowing someone to feel comfortable being the real me! Is it also due to the fear of being judged and disliked, so you sort of hold back on revealing your true self?

Thank you, Sienna! You're very kind and supportive. I'm sure you can make friends who will love you for who you really are.