Schizoid break from reality

[no_more_fear]

I was just wondering if anyone can tell me if this has happened to them? I'm pretty sure this is what's happened to me. I've recently quit nicotine and quittting and successfully staying off it has given me the ability to believe that I'm not helpless anymore and will be able to heal.

Since a few hours ago I've been feeling very odd. I found a text message on my mobile from a while ago that scared me. When I read it a darkness seemed to settle over me and then I realised that it wasn't an EF, it was in fact reality.  I read about this a long time ago in the Pete Walker book, but I would never have believed it was what had happened to me. Things make a lot more sense now.

I've been working through the Suzette Boon book on dissociation and it said that to heal a dissociative disorder you have to trust yourself and recently I've started trusting that I can handle this. I think I've made a huge leap in tackling my dissociative disorder.

It could actually be an abandonment of consciousness. Does anyone know the difference and has either happened to anyone?

Thanks.

[no_more_fear]

Hi everyone,

No need to reply, I was just in a bad EF and let my ICr and OCr go on a rampge. I'm a flight/freeze hybrid and exhibit schizoid tendencies when badly triggered. I was abandoning myself again. I really hate this C-PTSD rubbish.

[Alice97]

Good job identifying that it was an EF. I'm also a fight/freeze type and I hate this C-PTSD rubbish too. You aren't alone. 

[no_more_fear]

Thank you, Alice97. Flight/freeze is so difficult because it's such opposing forces. Initially I was beating myself up because I llet it go on for a few days, but then I realised I stopped it quicker than I have at other times, which is progress. I'm working through the book Pete Walker recommends for freeze types with a few others over in this section of the site. You should join us.  http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?board=195.0

How is your recovery going in general? Hard question to answer, I know.