Health and Body Issues caused by C PTSD

[Ren]

Was it Jasmin Lee Corri who said "the issues are in the tissues"?
I wonder how many of you here have similar health issues as a matter of interest.   When my past "surfaced" after years suppressed I had an ovarian problem causing bleeding and had an hysterectomy.  Gynae didn't ask me first, just told me when I woke up that he "fixed" the problem, and I didn't need my womb any more anyway !  Whoa!  Couldn't get away with that now.
I put weight on most of all and I suspect that I was giving myself a protective layer as things were tough emotionally, yet I didn't know about PTSD and how  I was having this flashback time.  I knew it was dysfunctional family related but I never knew about trauma then.
Asthma was my next problem and I take medication for that at night which is the only need.
Then TMJ - ie jaw tension - so I have a mouth brace at night. 
I now see all of these things add up to the tension and anger of my trauma.
What about you ?  Do we have this body language, this speaking by our bodies in common ?

[Three Roses]

Yes! A common denominator among us here. Page 100 of the book The Body Keeps The Score: "Somatic symptoms for which no clear physical basis can be found are ubiquitous in traumatized children and adults. They can include chronic back and neck pain, fibromyalgia, migraines, digestive problems, spastic colon / irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue, and some forms of asthma."

[sanmagic7]

absolutely!  my body has been holding tension, stress, and neg. emotions for me for so long, because i was either not allowed to express how i felt (raised to be perfect, so negativity wasn't 'allowed' to the point where i rarely, if ever, felt fear, even tho i can see now that i put myself, or found myself in various dangerous situations, and certainly never got angry at anyone, but was oh so flexible as to be able to see the other side of the situation), or was too busy dealing with and managing too many awful situations at once to have time to feel.

i had gotten to the point where, besides various disorders and illnesses and syndromes, my body could barely stand to be touched.  just 3 weeks ago, i was able to tolerate a full body massage for the first time in 20 yrs.  i know that healing touch is essential for a body, but even the little leg massage that comes with pedicures hurt so badly that i sat in the chair sobbing while my friend told the pedicurist not to be bothered, i was just very sensitive.  everyone in that shop, i'm sure, was horrified.

at the same time, i knew that crying was a type of release for what was being held inside, so even tho it was painful, i made myself go to get a massage from time to time.  it was always a horrible experience (and before this, i'd gotten massages that i'd loved, and felt so relaxed afterwards) but i knew it was important, that i was allowing all the crap inside to be released, little by little.

finally, i've found pressure point massages to be what i need now.  the toxins, stress, tension, and negativity that i've held are allowed to be released.  it can be horribly painful at times, or i'll sob for 10-20 min. if an emotion has been released, and am exhausted and can't go on for that session, but, little by little, my body is getting better.  i'm also making more conscientious choices about what foods i eat, i finally stopped smoking last year, and my body is responding favorably for the most part.  i still experience chronic back pain, and she's still finding knots in my muscles and tendons, but it's not what it used to be.  for that i'm grateful.

most of the meds i used to take for bi-polar, depression, anxiety, allergies, hallucinations, ibs, and whatever other illness of the month i'd come down with are a thing of the past.  i take more vitamins and minerals for brain and body health now.  i did develop glaucoma, which i believe is a direct result of the c-ptsd.  i've done a lot of therapeutic work to get rid of the depression/bi-polar symptoms. 

so, while it's been painful, and difficult at times to continue doing this work, i'm feeling much better than i did 10 yrs. ago.  i still have sleep problems, which may never go away, and i do take meds to help with that.  i've learned along the way to be mindful of what my body is telling me, to take care of it as best i can, to allow myself to be 'messy' some days/weeks (that i'm not going to do recovery perfectly), and to be patient with myself when i don't do something 'right' or am not able to manage something that i think i 'should' (like walk 20 min./day). 

yeah, i blame most of what's wrong with me physically on the c-ptsd.  the more i've researched this, and the effects of long-term chronic stress on our minds and bodies, the more i'm convinced that abuse and trauma are the root causes.  so, i also am constantly on the lookout for anything/anyone abusive in my life, and once i recognize it, i eliminate it as quickly as i possibly am able.  body language has taken on a new meaning!

[Kizzie]

Wow, great work on your part SanMagic, I am feeling inspired to get going on finally looking for a trauma informed somatic therapist and/or masseuse in my area. Now that my knee is done it's time to focus on all the tight, sore muscles, lovely toxins, etc.,  that have flooded my body for so long.  It really does get down to the cellular level I'm finding.   

I just moved some threads about the book "Healing Trauma" by Jasmine Lee Cory into the "Book Club" forum so you may want to see what a former member BeHealthy had to say about it.  The threads are older but thought it might inspire those who have read it to make a post or two. I know she found it to be quite relevant and useful but it's always good to hear from others what they thought.   

[sanmagic7]

thanks, kizzie.  the woman who works on me is none of what you described.  she does pressure point massage as well as regular massage.  she works on the knots she finds.  i'm the one who is aware of the mind/emotion/body connection.  when she pushes on a knot, she's just doing a physical thing.  but, as she presses, i can feel if it's an emotion - it comes to my mind and i get a very emotional response, as compared to simply physical release.  i've known to drink a lot of water after a massage because the toxins are being released, and the water helps flush them out of my system.   

i'm just saying this because, if you can't find a specialist, or if such a one is cost-prohibitive, you can still get the relief and release you need through your own knowing.  i live in a very small town in mexico, this woman happens to be a friend of my husband who just so happened to also do pressure point.  she doesn't even understand a lot of what i'm saying about my body, and vice versa.  but, since you already know about these things, you can do what needs to be done, allow it to happen, and feel the release. 

it's been taking time, i can't always do it every week, and some knots are bigger and older than others, so they're taking more time just on their own.  in my opinion, and for how much it's helping me, it's totally worth the pain and discomfort for the next few days or so.  i know my body is appreciating it.  i wish you the best with this.  i agree, it's cellular.  i hope you find someone as soon as you're ready.

[Honour]

Very interesting! I have a host of health issues which i believe are uncommon for my age:
ADHD (adult attention defecit hyperactivity disorder)
Anxiety
Polycystic ovarian syndrome
Hashimotos Autoimmune Disease
Allergies
Bouts of migraines - had two CT scans to investigate!!
Bouts of Irritable bowl syndrome
And constant weight fluctuations! I can lose 10 kilos in a month and gain it back just as quick. Its so frustrating!! I have two wardrobes - size 10 and size 12/14.

I'm interested in reading that book "The Body keeps the score". I tried to listen to the audio on youtube but kept falling asleep... I think the guys voice was a little monotone maybe??

[Sandstone]

Yup i have fibromyalgia, ibs/spastic colon, chronic fatigue, ovary pains which iv had tests done but no answers for. Long term back problems.
Healing hugs to us all 

[Kizzie]

thanks, kizzie.  the woman who works on me is none of what you described.  she does pressure point massage as well as regular massage.  she works on the knots she finds.  i'm the one who is aware of the mind/emotion/body connection.  when she pushes on a knot, she's just doing a physical thing.  but, as she presses, i can feel if it's an emotion - it comes to my mind and i get a very emotional response, as compared to simply physical release.  i've known to drink a lot of water after a massage because the toxins are being released, and the water helps flush them out of my system.   

i'm just saying this because, if you can't find a specialist, or if such a one is cost-prohibitive, you can still get the relief and release you need through your own knowing.  i live in a very small town in mexico, this woman happens to be a friend of my husband who just so happened to also do pressure point.  she doesn't even understand a lot of what i'm saying about my body, and vice versa.  but, since you already know about these things, you can do what needs to be done, allow it to happen, and feel the release. 

it's been taking time, i can't always do it every week, and some knots are bigger and older than others, so they're taking more time just on their own.  in my opinion, and for how much it's helping me, it's totally worth the pain and discomfort for the next few days or so.  i know my body is appreciating it.  i wish you the best with this.  i agree, it's cellular.  i hope you find someone as soon as you're ready.

Hi SanMagic - sorry for the delay in responding but I had a big pain flare up  - pushed it and boy did my body ever remind me that my new knee is very much in charge  right now.

I was seeing an Mtherapist a few years back who did some pressure point massage and I agree, it's really painful but there's nothing quite like feeling the knot give way, let go, release.  I can't quite remember if I did connect it to my emotions at the time though, other than to how good it felt to let go of the knot, to relieve the tension and stiffness.  I will have to see when I go.  When I was into my GP for the pain flare up I got a referral for massage therapy so will go as soon as I can find someone.  I  live in a small, rural town too but there is a small city fairly close I can tap into fortunately. And I'll take the advice about drinking water to heart as I know when I had EFs in the past and those toxins are flowing how awful, hungover I felt until I figured out I need to flush my system. 

[Dee]

lower back pain, especially in my hips
IBS
chronic ear aches
nausea, constantly
I have other health issues but they are related to anorexia

I think IBS is a big one for many of us.  My dietitian has me taking Saccharomyces Boulardii.  Its a probiotic in the refrigerator section.  It seems to be helping.

[sanmagic7]

kizzie, good luck with finding someone.  just to let you know, not every loosened knot is attached to an emotion, but i do believe they are all attached to toxins, hence the water.  at certain times when she has worked on a knot, suddenly i just feel the anger or sadness or fear, or whatever emotion happened to be hiding there.  the emotion is distinct, i'm suddenly cussing or crying, and i just know instinctively to go with it.  it's happened with several different m therapists - some are more comfortable with it than others, and i've had to explain what's going on. 

i have learned, tho, that i also have to take charge of what is enough, what is too much, etc., and tell her accordingly if i need her to stop.  sometimes i've only been able to be worked on for 15 min. or so - the pain and emotion are overwhelming, and to continue would be too much, detrimental, to me.   my body has done such a good job of taking care of those emotions for me all these years, storing them when i simply couldn't deal with them because life situations were in the way of my feeling and expressing them.   i have only had one massage in the last 20 years that drew oooohs and aaaaaahs of 'this feels so good' from me.  the rest of the time has been pure torture, and i can barely walk afterwards, doubled up by the experiencing of it.  my poor body! 

i hope you find nothing but relief, but if there are poisonous emotions stored within you, i also hope you are able to go through them, express them, and release them, no matter how unpleasant it is.  cleaning out this crap is an outrageous undertaking at times.  i've got more than 30 yrs. stored, which is why, i believe, it's so much and so painful.  hopefully, if you're younger, you won't have the same experience.  best to you in finding someone who will help you become knot-free!

[Survivor526]

I have a weight problem that I'm sure is partly a method of emotional protection and partly caused by using food (particularly sugar), almost as a sedative. I also am in a perpetual state of tension, sometimes to the point that I stop breathing for an oddly long period and I'm not actually aware of it until someone else says "breathe!". These issues as yet have not manifested into an illness or disease but are quite noticeable to some people and cause physical discomfort mainly in the form of tense muscles.

[Three Roses]

A warm welcome to you, survivor 526!  we're glad you're here.